Page 84 of Never Forget
"If I decided to go back to New York." I turned my head to look at him. "Would you come with us?"
He went still. I watched his face, trying to read what was happening behind his eyes, but the shadows made it impossible.
The silence stretched long enough that I started to regret asking.
"Do you think I could make it in the FDNY?"
I almost laughed. "You saved me and Rosie from a fire. I think you'd have a fair shot."
He pulled me closer and kissed my shoulder. "I'll go wherever you go."
I leaned into him and let him hold me.
Outside, the city went on without us. But in the dark, with his arms around me and Rosie asleep down the hall, none of it mattered.
This was real.
CHAPTER 22
Sam
The past week had felt like something out of a dream I didn’t want to wake up from.
Mornings with Jamie's head on my chest. Her hair spread across my shoulder. The way she'd shift in her sleep and reach for me even in dreams I'd never know about. I'd started waking up before my alarm just so I could have a few minutes of watching her breathe before the day pulled us apart.
Rosie padding down the hall in her pajamas, dragging Biscuit behind her. Climbing into our laps without asking. Asking for pancakes, then cereal, then pancakes again. Jamie laughing while she negotiated with a four-year-old about breakfast at 6:00 a.m.
The drive to the station with coffee Jamie had made stronger than I'd have made it myself. The shift passing slower than it used to because I knew what was waiting for me at the end of it. Pulling into the parking lot of their apartment and seeing the kitchen window lit up. Rosie's drawings taped to the fridge. The smell of whatever Jamie had thrown together for dinner.
Playing guitar for Rosie in the living room while Jamie washed dishes she wouldn't let me help with. Tucking Rosie into bed with stories I made up because I'd run out of the ones Iremembered. Falling into bed with Jamie after. Her mouth on mine in the dark. Her hands in my hair. The small sounds she made that I'd been carrying with me through every shift since the first time.
I'd never had this.
I hadn't even known what this was until she came back to Havensworth. I'd thought I was building a life before she did. I'd thought Amber and the apartment and the job were the shape of it. But none of that had felt like this. None of that had made me wake up before my alarm just to look at someone.
I leaned against the engine in the bay and let myself sit in it. The quiet shift was a gift. Nothing had gone wrong all morning. The checks were done. Tyler was somewhere with his certification packet. Sean was on the back lot pretending no one could smell his cigarettes. Pale light came through the bay doors and settled on the concrete, and I thought about Jamie.
She'd said something the other night about staying in Havensworth. I'd told her if she decided to go back to New York, I'd go with her. I'd meant it. I still meant it. I'd quit the department. I'd figure out the FDNY. I'd pack up and drive eighteen hours north and start over in a city I didn't know for a woman I'd loved my whole life.
That part was easy.
But I thought about the poker games that ran past midnight, Sean losing every hand and still dealing himself back in. Tyler's mother dropping off a pan of brownies once a month because she worried we weren't eating enough, and the way the whole crew acted like starving orphans when she walked through the door. The morning Cap caught us trying to teach the new ambulance driver how to back the rig into the bay and stood there shaking his head for a full minute before he said a word.
If Jamie asked me to leave this, I'd leave it. I wouldn't hesitate.
But I'd miss it.
"Reeves."
Cap's voice came from the direction of his office. I pushed off the engine.
"Got a minute?"
I wiped my hands on a rag and followed him across the bay. He held the door to his office open, waited for me to pass, then pulled it shut behind us.
He gestured to the chair across from him. I sat.
"New class of probies is coming in next month," he said. "Four of them. Fresh out of the academy."
