Page 26 of Coming Home
“Notallto yourself.” I slice into my omelet and give her a warning look. “You have to share her.”
“Things must have gone well last night if she’s coming for breakfast.”
I open my mouth to reply, but she lifts a staying hand before I can.
“Please don’t take that as an opportunity to share too much information about your love life.” Her mouth twists into a moue of distaste. “We’re in a good place. Don’t ruin it.”
I flop back into my seat and hook one arm over the back. “And here I was prepared to give a blow-by-blow account.”
“I’d like to be able to look her in the eye when she comes, thank you very much.”
We share an easy laugh and both take a few bites.
“I just wanted to make sure it was okay that she joins us,” I continue. “Because I wanted time with you this weekend, and it felt like we didn’t get much of it.”
“Like I said we have plenty of time.” Her smile falls into a straight line. “Unless you’re going away again any time soon?”
“No.” I reach across the table to take her hand. “I’ll be home writing this book. It’ll give me time to figure out what I want to do in this next chapter of my life. I think I’m done with the road for awhile.”
She doesn’t reply for a moment, but searches my face. “Seriously, Dad?”
“Yeah, a few networks have actually approached me about my own show.”
Her eyes stretch and her mouth drops open. “Your own show? That’s huge.”
“Could be. I’m not jumping at anything right away.” I shoot her a careful glance. “I thought if I’m home, we could . . . you know. Spend some time together. Not just snatched at holidays and every once in a blue moon, but real time.”
“That’d be nice,” she says, her expression sobering. “Look, I’ll admit I resented your job sometimes for always taking you away, but I want you to know I respected what you do. It inspired me. You’re kinda my hero.”
I let go of a scoffing breath. “Some hero.”
“Do you really think I don’t appreciate what you’ve done? All the stories you’ve broken? Reported from places, in situations nobody else would take the risk to tell? I do. Why do you think I chose journalism? Why do you think I chose Finley?”
“I didn’t?—”
“I chose them because of you, Dad. For myself, yes, but to be like you.”
Even as my throat heats and tightens with emotion, something loosens inside. Guilt? Dread? Fear? I don’t know, buther words bring relief I didn’t realize I needed. Not that I didn’t make mistakes. I know I did. Not that I didn’t sometimes choose work over my family. I did, but that my daughter still wants a relationship with me. I’m here now to give that to her. To give that tomyself.
“You’re not off the hook,” Celine says, lips pressed against a grin. “You still have years to make up for. I’ll need a lot of attention and emotional blackmail money wouldn’t hurt. Lemme give you my cash app.”
“If that’s what it takes.” I laugh, pretending to reach for my wallet.
“Keep the money. Instead, maybe we take a trip together after I graduate? We could go to your favorite place you’ve ever been.”
I freeze, scanning her face to see if she means it. “You’d want to take a trip with your old man? For real?”
“I’d make that sacrifice, yes,” she says with fake solemnity. “Maybe once you finish your book?”
I shake my head and huff a short breath. “IfI turn in this book. I have a lot to figure out, and it doesn’t even have a title yet.”
“Elsewherewas such a great title for the first one. It was a great book.” She spears a sausage link and tosses me a wide grin. “Glad I don’t have to follow that up.”
I roll my eyes, but chuckle at her sass. It’s been easier this weekend than I thought it would be. I know we have a long way to go, but Celine is more gracious than I’ve ever been. Maybe she got that from her mother. She’s generous and makes room in her heart for you, even when you’ve given her every reason to reject you. It makes me want to shield her from this world. I’ve seen the underside of humanity, exposed in war and genocide and racism and every kind of terror mankind creates for itself. There are times when we need a shell. I believe it’s Annette andCedric who’ve helped shape my daughter into someone who is so open and gracious. I don’t want to smother that vulnerability, but maybe I’m her shell-maker; the one to help her defend herself against the harsh realities of the world. I haven’t always been around. Iwon’talways be around, and I want her safe and self-reliant when she has to be. That, I know how to give. That, I know how to do.
“There’s your new girlfriend, Dad,” Celine teases, nodding toward the entrance where Niomi stands, searching the room until she finds us, a smile blossoming on her pretty face.
Maybe Celine expects me to deny the girlfriend label, but I won’t unless Niomi wants me to. Last night was fantastic. Once-in-a-lifetime, blow your mind sex, yes . . .but more than that. We can’t just pick up where we left off on that bench twenty years ago, but last night could be the start of something new. To call it love in such a short time would be to cheat its potential; to belittle what it can become if we take care of it and give it time to mature, the same waywehad to mature. In the wake of one of the best nights of my life, I’ll just call it special for now. I want to see where it will go. I hope Niomi does, too.
