Page 84 of A Highly Unlikely Duchess
Julia winced, a genuine flicker of pain crossing her face. “I see it so clearly, it makes me sick.” She paused, her eyes searching Emily’s. “The list... the list was a terrible, desperate idea.”
Surprisingly, the tension in Emily’s shoulders suddenly broke. A soft, unexpected smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She walked across the room, and she sat down on the settee by Julia’s side.
"The list was not a terrible idea," she said. "If not for the list, I would never have found a reason to go to Faithcourt. I would never have met Theodore properly. I would never have had the last several months." She paused. "I would not have fallen in love with him."
She looked at Julia. "I am grateful for the list. I am simply not grateful for the way everything around it was handled. You used Euphemia. You took a poor, naive girl and tried to corner Theodore into a scandal using her as bait. It wasn't fair to her, Lady Birks. You took advantage of her innocence to play a game where she was the only one who stood to lose everything.”
A fresh wave of heat rose in Emily’s throat as she spoke. She realized in that moment that her anger wasn't just for herself anymore; it was for the collateral damage Julia had left in her wake. She thought of Euphemia's wide, frightened eyes and realized that the girl had been a pawn in a game she didn't even know she was playing.
“You need to apologize to her, too,” Emily added firmly. “Not just to me.”
Julia let out a weary, self-deprecating laugh. “At this rate, I suppose I must apologize to the whole of London. I approached this entire season with the wrong heart, Emily. I was so focused on the result that I didn't care who I stepped on to get there.”
She sighed and shook her head. “But I am willing. I will apologize,” she continued. "Theodore is happy. He is married, he is in love, he has a family, and that is all I ever wanted for him, even if the path I chose to get there was wrong in almost every way." She folded her hands in her lap. "I have no other agenda. No other list. No other plan. I will retreat quietly and let him be happy, and I will not interfere in another Season for as long as I live."
"You do not need to retreat entirely," Emily said. “A lot of young ladies would need your help in the coming season. Euphemia included.”
Julia smiled as her shoulders began to drop. They sat like that for a moment, and Emily wondered if this was what it felt like when something that had been pulled tight for a very long time finally released.
The door to the morning room opened then, and Theodore stepped inside. He paused on the threshold, his gaze darting immediately to Emily. He had clearly been hovering nearby, like he had planned to intervene the moment he heard a raised voice.
He came in, crossed to her, and sat beside Emily. "Is everything all right in here?" he asked, searching her face. "I was not sure if you were comfortable hosting visitors so soon."
He reached out, his hand settling firmly on Emily’s waist, wordlessly offering his strength for her to lean on if she needed it. Emily felt the warmth of his palm through her silk dress and leaned into him, a small, reassuring smile gracing her lips.
"It is fine, Theo," she told him. "Lady Birks and I have settled our differences."
Julia let out a small, hesitant breath. "Well, almost settled. I suspect she has not quite accepted my apology yet, even if she is being gracious."
Emily shook her head, her smile widening. "I have accepted it, Lady Birks. I mean what I say. I would love for us to have a healthy, good relationship. We are family, after all, and there has been enough distance between us."
Theodore’s expression softened, his thumb brushing against Emily’s side in a rhythmic, private gesture.
"I would like that too," Julia beamed. “Thank you, Your Grace.”
"There is someone..." Emily continued. "...who has been asking about you." She stood. "Theodore mentioned you and Frederick have had questions ever since. Apparently, you feature in a story about a shipping merchant."
Julia looked at Theodore.
"Do not ask," Theodore said.
Emily rose to her feet. She walked across the plush carpet to the silk bellpull near the fireplace and gave it a firm tug.
When Peggy appeared, she said, "Would you bring Frederick down, please? Tell him there is someone he has been wanting to meet."
Emily walked back to the settee as Peggy curtsied and left, but instead of sitting beside Theodore, she let him pull her directly into the crook of his arm. He adjusted his position instantly to accommodate her, his hand splaying possessively across her ribs while she rested her head against his shoulder.
“Since we are speaking of healthy relationships and fresh starts,” Julia began, her eyes brightening. “Then we must consider your formal debut as the Duchess of Carrowell. A ball, Emily. A grand, unmistakable statement to the Ton that the house of Merrick is not only open, but flourishing. You will need guidance, of course. The guest list alone is a battlefield, and the floral arrangements for the rotunda require a very specific touch.”
"Absolutely not," Theodore said and shook his head.
Julia looked at him. “Your Grace —”
"You will not," he said, with a hint of pleasantness. "…use the offer of assistance as a means of inserting yourself into my wife's affairs and rearranging them to your satisfaction. Emily has managed this household, this estate, and this marriage with more competence than most duchesses twice her age, and she does not require reorganizing."
"Theodore," Emily said.
"I am simply being clear," he said sweetly.
