Page 40 of Defiance
Starting now.
The training session wrapped up and the team headed towards the changing rooms, a little blood-spattered, sweaty, and of course with obligatory scathing looks sent his way.
Paul came to a stop in front of them, and Cole noted his arrogant smirk was back in place. “What did you think?” His tone made it clear he expected Cole to be horrified or at least scared. And to be fair, that wasn’t far off the mark.
He met Paul’s gaze, deciding to be as honest as he could from here on out. It would be easier in the long run. “More blood and broken bones than I’m used to seeing in training.”
To his surprise, Paul laughed, but it was short-lived. “That was a light session, for your benefit.”
Jesus.
Cole couldn’t hide his shock at that. He’d seen actual bone. How much worse could it get?
“What we do is dangerous,” Paul went on. “People die.”
The heavy silence that settled between them had guilt gnawing at Cole, but he shook it off. What was done was done. Maybe they weren’t all bad in Paul’s team, but Cole couldn’t bring back the dead. But should he apologise? Or at least admit he was sorry shifters had lost their lives? Was that what Paul was waiting for?
Cole didn’t give a fuck about the ones in the cave, they deserved everything they got, but the ones at the house? Were they just doing as ordered? It took all his will to force the words out with any sincerity. “I’m sorry you lost members of your team.”
Paul studied him, eyes narrowed, but Cole couldn’t add anything more. They both knew he wasn’t sorry he escaped. After an uncomfortable few moments, Paul gave the barest of nods. “Funeral’s tomorrow, then back here for training the day after.” That was all he said before marching off in the direction of the changing rooms, but it was enough to make Cole’s shoulders sag.
Funeral.
For a couple of hours there, he’d forgotten about it.
Logan nudged him gently, and Cole looked at him. “Let’s get back to the flat.”
Yay, the fucking flat. Again.
Cole sighed, but nodded, and gestured for Logan to lead the way.
They walked back in silence, easier to say nothing than worry about letting something slip. Cole wasn’t really in the mood for small talk anyway. He’d known training with the HRU was going to be tough, that he’d hate it—it was, and he did—but it wasn’t that cut and dried. Before, when he’d thought about the McKillan pack, it was as one entity. One evil entity that he didn’t want to be a part of. Even getting to know Logan and Aaron, he still thought of them separately.
But they weren’t.
They were all part of the same pack.
A pack he would soon officially be a part of if things went to plan.
Even though he’d tried to convince himself otherwise, deep down he knew they wouldn’t all be assholes. He’d had a rough introduction to his team today, and even if they thought they had every reason to beat the shit out of him, Cole knew he was never going to be on more than civil terms with them. But what about the others in his unit? To fit in, to be accepted, he couldn’t keep them all at arm’s length.
He’d have to lie.
To everyone.
It left an unpleasant feeling in his gut, and Cole absently rubbed his stomach.
He shot Logan a glance as they walked. Was this how Logan felt all the time? He’d known these people for years, it had to be a hundred times worse for him.
“What?” Logan asked after Cole’s third stolen glance.
Cole shook his head. “Nothing.” Nothing they could discuss at any rate.
Logan led them out through the gardens again, but Aaron grabbed his arm. “Logan?”
“It’s fine. I cleared it with Paul.” The tone of his voice indicated how much he’d liked asking for permission. “It’s the least he could do for making us get changed for no fucking reason.”
Other than to get them out of the way. But no one brought that up.
