Page 108 of Defiance
So not the time or place for that.
A long wooden table ran the length of the back wall, and one by one, they fell into the seats surrounding it. The day had been long and eventful, and one glance around at everyone told Cole he wasn’t the only one feeling the effects. Despite his four-hour nap.
Nick yawned and his stomach rumbled loudly. He ran a hand over his face and let out a tired chuckle. “I don’t know if I want to eat first or sleep.”
A chorus of agreement echoed around the table.
They also had to talk about what happened next, because all of them were fugitives now. But Cole figured no one was ready to face that stark reality on an empty stomach and little sleep.
“So.” Nick kicked Cole’s foot. “Your parents aren’t dead, then?”
Cole turned to him. “No. They’re in Jersey.” He’d known Nick for years. By rights he should be over the moon to be here with him and not have to hide anymore. But things still feltoffbetween them. “And you’re a member of the CEG. Have been for years, right?” He didn’t like the bitterness that crept into his voice and knew he’d kept his own secrets these last couple of months, but Nick had done so for years.
“You know why I couldn’t tell you.”
The others at the table fell into their own conversation, and Cole moved so that he fully faced Nick, his back to everyone else. “I just...” Words eluded him.
“Feel betrayed?”
Was that it? “Maybe?” He crossed his arms. “I don’t know. You were my best friend, Nick. We told each other everything.”
At Nick’s raised eyebrow, Cole huffed. “Okay, fine, but that was the one thing I kept from you. You’ve been helping the CEG for years.Years, Nick, and I had no idea. You knew how I felt about joining a pack, knew there was a way out, and you never mentioned it. Never even gave me a hint that there was another way. What if Logan hadn’t suggested it? Would you have just watched me join the McKillan pack and be miserable for the rest of my life?” His voice had risen towards the end and he noticed the conversations around him had stopped.
Logan put a hand on his knee. “That’s not fair, Cole. It doesn’t work like that.”
Nick sighed. “I don’t know all the members of the CEG, Cole. I know who I need to know in order to do my part. I had no idea that Logan was part of it. And it wasn’t my place to tell you about something that might not have even been an option for you.”
Cole knew all this, he did, Logan had explained it all before, but he couldn’t seem to accept it. “But you seemed so excited about joining a pack. I felt so guilty for going on and on about hating the idea because you wanted it. And yet all this time...”
Nick reached for his hand, and Cole grudgingly let him take it. “I never lied about that part. I was excited about joining a pack.” Cole frowned. “As a human, there’s only so much I can do to help the CEG, but as a pack member? I can do so much more from the inside.” He gave Cole’s fingers a squeeze. “Do you think I didn’t want to tell you? Every day I had to remind myself that it wasn’t my secret to tell, that no matter how much I was desperate to share it all with you, I couldn’t. It killed me, Cole.”
He looked at Cole, expression sincere, and something inside Cole let go.
I believe him. Of course I do.
He’s my best friend.
And this is exactly how I felt at the funeral.
He’d be such a hypocrite right now if he did anything other than accept that Nick had done the only thing he could.
Cole tugged him in for a hug, and after a moment’s surprise, Nick wrapped his arms around him and held on tight. “I’ve really fucking missed you.”
“Missed you, too.”
“And your tattoo looks awesome, by the way.”
Cole laughed. “Yeah, it’ll do.”
A throat cleared behind them and they separated, both turning towards the doorway where Isaac and Michael stood close together, shoulders brushing.
Cole resisted the urge to breathe in deep to scent the air. Like Logan said, it wasn’t his business.
“We’re safe here for now. Isaac’s having the van disposed of as we speak, and everyone here can be trusted.”
Isaac smiled. “Consider my house yours. There are plenty of rooms on the first two floors, take your pick. My pack will be in and out during the day, but they’re all involved in what we do here. I trust them all with my life.”
“Won’t the HRU think to look here first?” Aaron asked, worry clear on his face. “It’s where the three of us came last time. It’d be one of the first places I’d look.”
