Page 38 of Sincerely, the Duke
“There always will be, Edwina,” Eileen countered.
“What anyone thinks about us doesn’t matter to me,” Elle said softly as she joined Eileen on the settee. “If they consider us an oddity it is their failings. Not ours.”
“You know she’s right, Edwina,” Eileen added. “We know we are normal and don’t need validation from a man or Society to prove that to us.”
“But we do need sustenance,” Edwina reminded her sisters, thinking she was so happy to have them with her even if they didn’t agree on everything. It was comforting just to have them near. “We can’t expect Aunt Pauline to care for the three of us the rest of her life with the small allowance she receives.”
“I don’t want much,” Elle said with a carefree air to her voice. “Only to read poetry, write down my thoughts, and take long walks on beautiful days like today.”
“And I have my astronomy books and Papa’s old telescopes to keep me happy. I am looking forward to seeing the night sky here since I’ve never been far from York. Perhaps I can even find a way to get to the roof of St. Paul’s Cathedral since it is the tallest building in London. Tomorrow I will write another letter to Mr. Herschel and his sister, Caroline. I know one day he’ll allow me to visit so I can prove to him how knowledgeable I am.”
Edwina shook her head and pursed her lips for a moment. She knew it was Eileen’s deep desire to work with the astronomers but not their father’s. “You have been trying for over a year, sister. You haven’t received one answer. Besides, it isn’t what Papa wanted for you,” Edwina said earnestly and turned to Eleonora. “It’s the natural order of life. You know that. Surely you want to have those wonderful feelings of love for a man again.”
She gave Edwina a contented smile. “I have my memories of Mr. Climperwell and they make me happy.”
“Papa did what any father would do for his children,” Eileen said in a matter-of-fact tone, rising off the settee. “He fed us and saw to it we were clothed. He educated us far beyond what some, if not most, fathers do for their daughters. We do appreciate him for that, but now we must live our lives. It helped that our mother was strong andhealthy and took care of us until after we were born,” Eileen responded.
“Papa was real,” Edwina argued pointedly. “Mama has always been just a vision of an angel in my mind.”
“I think all angels have red hair and green eyes, don’t you, Edwina?” Elle asked as she continued to look at the strip of lace.
The gentle words about angels instantly calmed Edwina. She guessed she’d always been a little miffed they didn’t want to help her fulfill Papa’s dying wish. That was all right. She had enough fortitude for all three of them.
“I’ve never seen a real angel and I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it much. Most painters prefer golden hair. It doesn’t really matter. An angel is what each person sees in their own mind.”
“Yes, it is what each person sees, wants, or believes that matters,” Eileen said, looking directly at Edwina.
No, it was what a person promised that mattered. Edwina wouldn’t give up on that vow. And now she had the duke’s help.
“I see something behind your eyes,” Eileen said, walking closer to Edwina with her hands on her hips.
“What? Don’t start with thatI know what you are thinkingbecause you know you don’t.”
Eileen lifted her chin and gave her a sisterly smirk. “I may not know what you were thinking but I know it wasn’t about angels. I could sense that whatever it is worries you. Tell us and we will help you. We rode that bumpy carriage all day and night so we could get to you as soon as possible.”
“Nothing.” Edwina dismissed their intuition and then realized that wasn’t the truth and added, “Nothing that is important anyway so don’t worry.”
“I sense your worry too,” Elle said, dropping the lace and moving closer to Edwina. “Something’s bothering you—or at the very least, something more than our being triplets or getting married.”
Edwina blew out a sigh of frustration. “I am worried about the wedding night. Before now, getting married was just an idea that would happen in the future. Suddenly, it’s not just a possibility. It’s real and I must prepare myself for the intimacy of it without knowing what I’m supposed to do.”
Her sisters looked at each other and then back to Edwina again.
“Blessed starry night, Edwina,” Eileen said irritably. “We can’t help you with that. We don’t know any more than you do. Why haven’t you asked Aunt Pauline to explain it to you? She has been married.”
“Yes, of course,” Elle encouraged her with a smile. “She is the one you must ask.”
“I did ask. She refuses to tell me anything other than my husband will let me know what to do. I’d have better luck trying to pull a coach loaded with baggage down the street than getting one peep about the wedding night from Auntie.”
Her sisters seemed to study over what she’d said, looking as confused as Edwina.
“You need to ask Henrietta,” Eileen finally said with a measure of confidence that gave Edwina hope someone might know about such a secret night. “She can tell you.”
“My maid?” Edwina gave her sister a skeptical look. “I’m not sure about that. She’s never been married.”
“I know,” Eileen agreed confidently, rubbing her lower back as she continued to circle the settee. “But I feel sure she knows about such things. It’s part of her duties toknow about the ways of a man so she can properly prepare you for bed that night.”
“Do you really think she does?” Elle asked, as riveted as Edwina by the prospect the maid might know details about such a private encounter as the marriage bed.
