Page 27 of Sincerely, the Duke
Edwina laughed. “Auntie, I know you get tired easily, but don’t think of leaving us. We need you.”
“All right, dearie. And thanks to His Grace, we now have a carriage and driver at our disposal—not that we’ve made use of it yet.” Pauline sniffed. “But we will certainly make use of it to go to the balls when they begin. And he sent over the footman he hired to aid Mrs. Needlesmith and the other maids. It will be so nice to have him on hand for whatever we might need. There’s all the places the duke opened accounts for you—none of which we’ve visited. But soon, I hope.”
Perhaps she should add those things to the duke’s “nice” qualities too. Edwina pursed her lips harder as her aunt talked. All in all, the duke had been more accommodating than she was willing to admit. In truth, she would be having feelings of uncertainty about the wedding night, having a babe, and all the rest of it no matter who she was marrying.
“We’ll go out in the carriage tomorrow, Auntie, and ride through St. James’ Park and Hyde Park. I promise.”
“Lovely, dearest. Let’s do.” Her hands stilled and she gave Edwina a smile. “Now, come closer and let me see how these beautiful fabrics look with your coloring. They are the finest materials I’ve ever seen. It’s simply luxurious to feel them in my hands, and so considerate of the duke to have the best modistes in London send samples of their work to you. Look at this marvelous shade of pink. It looks as if someone crushed rose petals and added milk to them.”
“We just prepared for the Season, Auntie. My wardrobe is filled with everything new.”
“I know and isn’t it wonderful? We’ll pass those gowns, dresses, and other things along to your sisters when they get here, and have new ones made for you.It’s best anyway. Those gowns were made for a young belle out to capture the heart of a beau. There’s very little color or trim to any of them so that you might look as pure as you are. Now you are going to be a duchess, Edwina, and must adorn yourself as one. The duke expects you to take advantage of his generosity and pamper yourself with all the finest things available. Don’t disappoint him.”
A shiver washed over Edwina. “Disappoint him?” Yes, of course. But not because she hadn’t taken advantage of his luxuries. Perhaps because she hadn’t told him the whole truth about her birth. She had made an attempt to dissuade him by reminding him there were only girls in her family. But was that enough? And the truth was that she supposed she didn’t really want anyone to know of their unusual birth, which would set them apart.
“Take your chignon down, dearie. I want to see this color against your hair and your skin.”
Wanting to make her aunt happy, and to get her mind off worrisome things, Edwina obeyed and removed the combs, letting her hair cascade to her shoulders. Fabrics and laces were not of interest to her when she had so many gowns she hadn’t worn yet. Her sisters’ reluctance to marry, the wedding night, and a host of other delicacies concerning marriage were swirling around in her head.
“While we are doing this, Auntie, I want to ask you something of a personal nature.”
“Yes, do, my dear,” she encouraged, giving Edwina a glancing look before immediately pulling a pin from a sewing cushion and fastening the piece of milky pink silk to Edwina’s bodice at the neckline.
Clearing her throat, Edwina asked, “What happens on the wedding night?”
“You get married,” she answered, adding a garish orange-and-purple brocade onto Edwina’s simple pale lavender shift.
Edwina took in a deep breath. “I’m talking about when I’m alone with the duke in our chambers and it’s time to retire?”
Pauline’s hands stilled on the fabric, and her head started shaking. “No, no, dearie. Never mind about that. You’ll find out soon enough.” She began humming and digging through the box before her.
That didn’t go well. Edwina decided to try again. “I would like to know a few details.”
“And you will when the time comes.” Avoiding Edwina’s eyes, she pulled a busy swatch of a multicolored flower print from the clutter and commenced pinning it between the other two colors. “But that time is not today. You must wait.”
“Why is it such a secret?” Edwina asked, exasperated, but she held still as her aunt pinned on the third piece of cloth. “Am I to talk or be quiet? Am I to lie down, stand up, or bend over?”
“Edwina, please don’t be crude,” her aunt implored, covering her ears with her hands. “Your father would be shocked to hear such talk come from you.”
She supposed he would. He’d brought his daughters up as ladies even though they were far from London Society. “I’m sorry, Auntie.”
Pauline lowered her hands and gave Edwina an understanding expression but remained silent as she turned her attention to a new box of samples.
But Edwina wasn’t ready to put the subject to bed. “It’s so frustrating, Auntie. I was taught to read and comprehend difficult books. I studied the history of countries I’ll never visit but can find on a map. I knowthe constellations and can point them out in the dark sky, but I’ll never see any of them up close. I’ve been taught to add and subtract large sums of numbers but I will never hold that amount of money in my hands. However, the wedding night, something Iwillexperience, has been kept a mystery.”
Her aunt seemed to study on her answer before saying, “The rosy pink is not the color for you. Let’s try a different one.”
Edwina took another deep breath. After her father concluded she would have to be the first sister to wed, she looked in their extensive collection of books. Not one of them mentioned what a wedding night would be like when a man and woman joined together and became one. She scoured all the poetry books that would have been the likeliest ones to share information, and the volumes on the study of the body. None of them helped her to understand.
Why was her aunt so bashful about this? She was married close to thirty years before her husband passed. Edwina wasn’t trying to be high-handed. She needed help understanding what would be forthcoming. Softening her voice, she said, “This conversation is important to me, Auntie.”
Sighing, her aunt didn’t take her attention off the bolt of lace in her hand. “That is the way of it, my dear, and it’s not going to change. The only thing you need to know about the wedding night is that it’s a most private affair and not something a lady would ever discuss with another. It is the husband’s duty to reveal to his bride everything he wants her to know and not for any other person to meddle in.” Pauline laid down the lace and, picking up one of Edwina’s hands, she clasped it in both of hers. They were soft and warm as she gently squeezedwith confidence, sighed deeply, and smiled as if she’d answered every one of Edwina’s questions to her satisfaction. “The duke will know what to do and that is enough. He’ll take excellent care of you.”
“How?” Edwina contended, hoping to persuade her aunt to reconsider. “He is the most impatient person I’ve ever met.”
She wanted to know more about how babies were made and, more importantly, how many she might have. Her father had always said Edwina was more like her mother in temperament, actions, and thoughts than either of her sisters. What if she was so much like her mother, she had multiple births too? That was probably her biggest fear of all. What would she do if she had triplets? What would the duke do? Would he be as resourceful as her father had been?
Would such a phenomenon leave the duke open to suspicions and doubts about her purity or faithfulness to him? What would she do if he rejected her and the babes? Edwina had no answer for that. She only knew she and her sisterswerenormal. This was her chance to prove it. Edwina just had to have the courage to do it.
