Page 23 of Gone With the Rogue
It took a moment for the meaning of Brina’s words to sink into Julia’s mind and when they did, she stared at her, truly unable to say anything for a few moments. “But that is a—a—”
“A convent, an abbey,” Brina said without hesitancy,“are probably the best names for it. Though not all the women who serve there are nuns, and it’s really so much more than that. It’s a community of women. Good women who unselfishly do good works for unfortunate people here in London. Their doors are open three days a week to serve a cup of soup and a slice of bread to those in need. Two of the sisters spend those three days attending anyone with wounds and handing out poultices and tonics they make. All of them sew, knit, and bake bread the other four days. I suppose they have time for their services and readings, too. But they have a purpose to their lives, and that appeals to me.”
“All right,” Julia said calmly. “You want to help them. How? You don’t know how to bake bread.”
“But I can learn,” Brina argued, unapologetic and a bit defensive. “I want to do something more than just get up in the mornings and dress for a walk in the park, or dress in the evenings to sit at someone’s dinner table and make idle conversation.”
“But that is what you’re supposed to do. You are well read, and because of that you’re quite engaging with your knowledge on many subjects when you are a guest at someone’s house and sit down at their table. You play the pianoforte so beautifully and with so much feeling everyone wants to listen when you entertain. I’ve read your poetry. It’s thoughtful and inspiring. You helped start The Seafarer’s School. Why would you think you have no purpose in life?”
Brina turned away from Julia and glanced out the window before looking back into Julia’s eyes. There was a sadness in Brina that Julia knew was always there but she seldom let it show. Julia remained quietfor a few moments as the carriage rumbled over a quiet street in Mayfair dotted with white houses.
“If I do have a purpose,” Brina finally offered, “I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to marry, so I’ll have no children to love and care for as you do. Mrs. Tallon has two helpers and really needs no more assistance at the school. Reading a book to the girls is the most I can do there.”
Feeling great concern for her friend and the seriousness of what she was considering, Julia moved over to sit on the cushion beside Brina. “Why do you think you would be happy at Pilwillow Crossings?”
Brina faced her. “Because I’m not happy where I am.”
Those were chilling words. “But you would have to take a vow. You would be giving up all that you were born into.”
“No.” Brina smiled softly. “I checked into that. You need not worry that I am losing my mind. I’m not considering taking a vow of any kind, and it’s not necessary at this convent. There are women who live there who’ve never taken the vow and don’t intend to. That doesn’t mean they don’t have to obey all the rules that are set forth. They do. I know the solemnity of this action and that’s why I’m not rushing into a decision. It’s something I’m thinking about, and you should know I haven’t mentioned this to anyone else for now.”
“You know I’ll keep your feelings quiet. And I agree it’s best not to tell your parents. Doing this would alter your life drastically, and there’s no reason to burden them with your thoughts until you have this more settled in your mind.”
“That’s why I haven’t told anyone but you.”
“You’re still so young, Brina, you—I truly want you to make the choice that’s best for you, but if you do decide to do this, and then later change your mind, would you be able to leave?”
“Of course.” Brina laughed softly. “It’s not a prison. They only want women who want to help others.” A faraway look glistened in Brina’s eyes. “I do think I made the right decision when I returned to my parents’ home after Stewart’s passing. It’s been so easy to let them coddle me.”
“And now you are wanting something more.”
“Something different,” Brina corrected. “I just don’t know what it is yet. Why don’t you go with me to talk with them? I really need your help with this. Observe is all I’ve done, and only for short periods of time when I could escape from Mama.”
“Yes, I’d very much like to go with you. Just let me know. I’ll find a reason to tell Mr. Pratt that Chatwyn isn’t available for instructions that day. I welcome a chance to do that.”
“We’ll have to be very careful not to let anyone see us.”
“We will. Just let me know when you have your date set. But tell me, how do you know so much about the abbey if all you have done is watch the goings on from afar?”
“I sent my maid with a list of questions to ask and swore her to secrecy. She would never breathe a word to anyone about what I do.”
“It appears we both have our secrets this summer.”
“Yes,” Brina said with a resigned smile. “I’m glad you’ve returned to London so we can share them.”
“So am I. It reminds me of when we were meeting with Adeline to plan for the girls’ school. We were soafraid someone would discover what we were doing and stop us before we could get it started.”
“But no one did.”
“That’s right,” Julia said as the coach rolled to a stop in front of Lady Hallbury’s house. If only they could be as successful now as they’d been with the school.
Lady Hallbury always greeted her guests at the entrance to her formal garden. Most everyone in the ton, including Julia, considered the older countess eccentric. But no one would miss one of her parties—if they were fortunate enough to be invited.
She wore a halo of fresh-cut flowers in her ringlets of graying hair. It wouldn’t have seemed odd except for the fact that they were large pink mums. The same flower in a smaller size had been sewed onto the low neckline and high waistline of her flowing gown. There were four flounces on her skirt and the hem of each had been adorned with a row of fresh peonies. Julia had never seen anything like it, and by the expression on Brina’s face, neither had she.
The spacious garden was no less lavish and spectacular than the hostess herself, with its array of decor. At the entrance to her back lawn were three white arches decorated with colorful shades of tulle, ribbons, and more flowers placed at the entrance. Guests had to walk under the arches to enter. Past where their hostess stood, Julia could see rows of vibrant flowers lining the stone pathway that led to tables and chairs that had been swathed with white linen. Not surprisingly, a ring of pink posies had been laid in the center of each table. Inside each ring stood a five-tiered silver tray filled with dainty confections and delicacies.
Scattered in between tables were beautifully dressed ladies still wearing pale colors and summer blends oflightweight muslin, crepe, and silk. Their hats and bonnets were the height of fashion and lovely, with netting and organdy coverings. Gentlemen were splendidly clothed in dark coats and waistcoats as colorful as the flowers in Lady Hallbury’s garden.
