Page 56 of Gone With the Rogue
He rolled to his back, pulling her down on his chest. His arms circled her waist and squeezed her close.“Go ahead and try it if you think you are stronger than I am.”
“Well,” she said with an impish grin, letting her fingers glide easily across his chest. “I find I don’t want to right now. I rather like you where you are and want to enjoy this feeling for a little longer.”
“I want to enjoy it much longer. Marry me.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly and then laughed, though she could see that Garrett was serious.
“I’m not like other men who might have sought your hand or heart, Julia. I don’t want you for just an hour in the afternoons, or for a day or two during the week. I love you and want you for life. I want to marry you.”
Julia swallowed hard. His words filled her with such joy she suddenly, inexplicably felt like crying. She never cried.
“No,” she whispered, pushing away from him. “I love you, too, Garrett. I want to be with you like this. Sharing our love and desire for each other, but I don’t want to marry. I want to be free. I want to know what it will be like to handle my life by myself without my uncle, my husband, or the duke controlling me. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I do.”
His eyes swept lovingly down her face. “I would never control you as the duke has. You and Chatwyn would be safe with me. If you marry me you’ll never have to worry about the duke again. I will never let him hurt either of you.”
She thought of what he’d done to Mr. Pratt and she smiled. “I believe that, and it’s not you that I don’t want. It’s marriage that I don’t want right now.”
He looked as if he might argue with her again, butthen he smiled, too. “All right. We won’t talk of marriage. We’ll only talk of love.”
Garrett gentle pushed her to her back and rose over her. His lips came down on hers in a searing kiss.
Chapter 19
Garrett walked in the drizzling rain with only his heavy cloak and hat to protect him. He’d spent more days and nights than he could count on the deck of his ship with rain slashing so hard it felt as if it might cut into him. Being wet and cold didn’t bother him. During his first long voyage, he’d discovered he could live on very little food and fresh water and live with few possessions. An early autumn rain wasn’t likely to bother him.
Wiley had sent around a note asking Garrett to meet him at the house on Poppinbrook Street at four. As luck would have it, that house was only a street over from where Mrs. Feld lived. He decided to stop by to see her on his way to meet Wiley. Somehow his friend had found a man who had a key. He and Wiley were going to have a look inside.
It was still important to Garrett to take possessionof the house, tear it down, and build another, but helping Julia and what she wanted had become more important. He had faith in Mr. Urswick’s abilities to eventually break the code. Fate had a strange way of dealing with people sometimes. He’d taken his father’s ship to sea to build a company so he could buy anything he wanted. But now, the only thing he wanted was to live with Julia and her son.
A carriage passed him at a fast pace, but Garrett hardly gave notice to the wheels spraying his boots and cloak with water that had puddled on the sides of the roads. He was thinking about Julia and nothing else mattered when she was on his mind. He’d awakened this morning wanting her by his side, wanting to snuggle her warm body next to his, kiss her lips, the hollow of her throat, crook of her neck, and curve of her shoulder. The few hours they’d had together yesterday weren’t nearly enough to keep him from wanting her.
He could understand her reasoning for not wanting to marry again, but that didn’t mean he agreed with her or that he liked it. All she said was true. Men had complete control over their wives, their children and their possessions. Someway, he had to make Julia see he wouldn’t be that way. It obviously was going to take time. He would protect her and Chatwyn, but he would allow her the freedoms she sought whether or not Urswick deciphered the code and Julia could condemn the duke for the explosion.
Just thinking of her lying in bed with him took the chill off the rain and made him warm. She was receptive and passionate to his lovemaking. He was certain she loved him. Only him and that she wanted to be with only him. But she wasn’t ready to marry. He had to give her time to come to that realization.
Garrett had accomplished what he set out to do when he left the life of a gentleman. He’d never have to rely on an allowance from a relative, and neither would his sons, nor their sons. But now he’d found that he couldn’t live without Julia.
He hadn’t come back to London wanting to renew his life as a gentleman but now, because of Julia, he did. He hadn’t expected his first day back in Town, he’d meet someone and then not want to look at another woman, but that’s what happened. With her he wanted a home, not a house; a wife, not a mistress; an old dog, not a young one. And he wanted Chatwyn. He liked the rambunctious little boy.
Suddenly a thought occurred to Garrett that tightened his chest. Did Julia fear he would go on another journey, sail away, and leave her a sea widow? Was that part of the reason she didn’t want to marry? The whispers of the wind had called to him when he was a younger man but he knew he could never leave her, even if they called to him again.
One thing he was certain of: it wasn’t another man in her life that was making Julia reluctant to talk about marriage. She’d held back nothing when she was in his arms and he knew she wanted no other.
Another carriage approached and, this time, slowed. The driver offered a ride, but Garrett waved to him and walked up to the entrance of Mrs. Field’s house and hit the iron plate with the knocker. While he waited for the answer, he removed his hat and knocked off the excess rain before resettling it on his head. He swung his cloak from his shoulder and shook it before folding it over his arm so that it would be ready to hand to the maid.
“May I help you?” the robust housekeeper said upon opening the door.
“I’d like to see Mrs. Brina Feld.”
“Who might I say is calling, sir?”
“Mr. Garrett Stockton.”
“Just a minute.” The door closed behind her.
Garrett’s thoughts went back to Julia.
Something was going on between Julia and Mrs. Feld. It didn’t bother Garrett that he didn’t know what it was. Friends had secrets they kept from others. But Garrett would like to know why they had been in the kitchen in such a state. Why had Brina rushed out almost in tears, and why did Julia want him to bring the money to her?
