Page 51 of The Earl Next Door
A wife to bear him a son.
Shoring up her courage with a deep breath, she said, “It would make no difference. I will not be persuaded. Now, I need to get to the school. You can see yourself out.”
She started walking past him, but he caught her arm and stopped her. “What if you are with child?” he asked.
Adeline gasped. “What?” Her breath caught in her lungs and couldn’t move for an instant. She felt as if she were choking. “Why would you ask that?”
“It could be true.”
“No,” she said adamantly. “That can’t be.”
“I may be a man, Adeline, but I am not naive when it comes to matters such as this. We’ve been together twice now and sometimes it only takes once if measures aren’t taken to ensure otherwise.”
“It didn’t happen and it won’t.”
Anger clouded his features. “You can’t be sure.”
“I can. A woman knows these things, Lyon. I don’t want to lose what we’ve been sharing, but I won’t marry you. Being a widow gives me the right to live my life as I so choose. I have freedoms now to make my own choices that I never had before. I can go where and when I want to go. I can eat and drink what I want with no one telling me I must stay at home, or stay in bed, or—” She stopped and took a deep breath, already having said more than she intended.
“Did your husband do those things?”
She looked away from him, determined not to reveal any more of her past than she already had. It would serve no purpose. “Marriage doesn’t suit me. Accept that I can’t marry you and leave it at that.”
“I wouldn’t restrict you like that, Adeline.”
“I didn’t think Wake would treat me as he did, either. Now, turn me loose. I have nothing more to say about the subject.”
His expression had told her he wanted to say more. He didn’t want to give up, but after a moment or two, he bowed to her wishes and let go of her. He stepped back, as if realizing it was best to save his argument for another day.
“All right, I will accept your answer. And you must accept mine. I won’t take you as a lover I must keep hidden.”
“Then we understand each other, again,” she said, feeling as if she’d stabbed herself with a knife.
“We do.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to re-pin my hair before I leave.”
He nodded once, and said, “Usually just the threat of a ruler across the knuckles of a hand or cane on the backside is enough to make unruly children sit up and take notice that rules must be obeyed. Keep that in mind when you talk to the girls. Let them stay and give them the chance to learn. Don’t send them home.”
Adeline watched him walk away and her heart ached. Her arms felt cold and her stomach empty. She couldn’t take back her words of rejection. Married life had been much too cruel to her. During her marriage she thought she’d learned how to endure anything that might come her way, but saying no to Lyon had been harder than drinking the foul-tasting tonics Wake had prepared for her.
Knowing Lyon wanted her, wanted to marry her would have to be enough to sustain her. She couldn’t suffer through trying to be in the family way again, and she couldn’t leave him childless and without an heir.
The thought of never being in his arms again was heartbreaking. Perhaps in time he would agree to keep their time together going as it was now? Surely being together sometimes was better than not being together at all.
For now, she had to put thoughts and feelings for Lyon aside. She had to decide what to do about the girls. Their violation of the rules of the school and decency could not go without a strong punishment.
After a visit up to her room, Adeline walked over to the school and into the large open front room. Mrs. Tallon and Mrs. Lawton rose from the teaching table where they were sitting and walked over to the door to stand with her. Fanny and Mathilda rose from the opposite corners at the back of the room where they’d been seated on the floor facing the wall.
Adeline looked away from the girls. She didn’t like the way it made her feel to see them punished. “I’m sorry to have kept you, but the earl is a difficult man to get away from.” That was no prevarication.
“Is he going to do anything terrible to the girls?” Mrs. Lawton asked worriedly. “Will he send them to the workhouse for their mischief?”
“No, no,” Adeline answered softly. “I don’t know what would make you think he’d ever do anything like that. He’s not really a harsh man. It wouldn’t even enter his mind to do something so reprehensible. He wanted to have his say, of course, and I listened. In the end, he has left all punishment to me and Mrs. Tallon. Thank you for helping her, Mrs. Lawton. You may go back home.”
“Yes, my lady,” she said and left the room.
“Where are the rest of the girls?” Adeline asked Mrs. Tallon.
