Page 50 of The Earl Next Door
Watching her lace her clothing, Lyon felt a new protectiveness stir deeply in his chest. He’d known earlier he wanted no other man to touch her, and he didn’t want her to desire anyone but him. What he was feeling now went further and was stronger than just a man being jealous of a lady’s attention. It surprised him to realize it, but what he was feeling had to be love. There could be no other explanation.
His heart pounded. She was the one he wanted for his bride. Without reservation, he said, “There is a better way. Marry me.”
Chapter 16
Adeline’s hands stilled on the laces of her stays, but she felt a quivering in her chest and stomach. She stared at Lyon. They’d been laughing over the cramped settee, but he looked so serious she suddenly felt that way, too. There was a time she could hide all her emotions. She’d had to. It hadn’t been that difficult with Wake, but with Lyon, she found it hard to do. He touched her in so many ways that her husband never had. She was sure Lyon could see in her expression that she was stunned by his statement.
Marry him.
Share this exquisite passion and pleasure with him every night? Yes, she wanted to do that, but marry him? Be his wife? No.
Lyon walked over and bent down on one knee infront of her. “I don’t want anyone but you. I don’t want us to hide that we want to be together. What’s between us and what we’re feeling is too important to be treated lightly. Marry me.”
The thought of marriage again sent Adeline into panic. She couldn’t.
“The feelings I have for you are more than I could have ever imagined feeling. It’s true I thought you a beast at first. With good reason. I now know you are kind, strong, and your touch thrills me, but I’m not interested in matrimony, Lyon.”
She brushed away from him and rose from the settee, quickly shoving her arms into her bodice.
He stood up and said, “Look at me, Adeline,” he said, and waited for her to do so. “Marriage is what usually follows the kind of passion we have for each other. I feel it in here.” He put his hand over his heart. “This is the right thing for us to do.”
“No,” she said, giving her attention back to the bow she was tying in her stays. “I admit if I were to ever be tempted to do so, it would be with you, but I will never marry again.”
“That is a bold statement, my lady.”
“A true one,” she answered earnestly, making a loose knot at the center of her back.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been a wife and found I’m not suited to marriage and have no desire to entangle myself in it again.”
He took hold of her upper arms, forcing her to look at him again, and said, “So your marriage wasn’t a happy one?”
“It wasn’t, but I don’t intend to discuss it with you.”
“I respect that you want to remain silent about that. I’m not demanding you tell me anything concerning your past. I am willing to listen if you ever want to. Your previous marriage is not a concern to me unless you want it to be. I want to talk about us. The future. Our future. What we will share. How we will live with each other.”
She pulled out of his grip and straightened her shoulders. “I don’t want to think about marriage. Past or future. I don’t want to have this discussion. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you. I do. Often. I have since the first night we met when you—well you know. We’ll have to find another solution to our dilemma of nosy neighbors and servants.”
“No, Adeline,” he said tersely. “I will not make you a mistress that I visit every now and then when I so desire.”
“Not a mistress!” she said fiercely. “I need no man keeping me for his private pleasure. I will be an equal lover. Our coming together would be on mutual terms as it was just now.”
“A lover? You mean like this?” Capturing her up in his arms again, he gave her a short, hard kiss, but it was no less passionate than any of the others they’d shared. “Is this really what you want? Grabbing a quick kiss or a longer moment or two with you on the settee or against the wall when your housekeeper is away or asleep? Is that what your heart desires?” he rasped. “Should we just go ahead and set a time and a day of the week for you to send Mrs. Lawton to the school orelsewhere so I can slip in and out of your bedchamber without her suspecting?”
“Stop it,” she pleaded. “You’re making it sound so tawdry. What we shared wasn’t.”
“No and it shouldn’t be, but that’s what you’re asking for,” he insisted angrily, turning her loose. “You are asking me to treat you less than a lady deserves. Less than I want for you and me.”
“No, I’m not. Respectable widows take lovers.”
“They do,” he said more calmly. “Some are most content doing so. I don’t want that for you. For me. I have deeper feelings for you. I can’t accept you as a casual lover.”
Adeline searched his eyes. She understood and believed what he was saying. But she didn’t believe the good would outweigh the bad. “I want to be with you, but I won’t hear more about marriage.” She stepped away and pulled the tail of her bodice down over the skirt of her dress, fitting it properly.
“Then tell me why.”
There was more than just one reason why she couldn’t marry him. Lyon was titled and would expect to have an heir, which she could never give him. She couldn’t go through another man demanding of her what she wasn’t capable of giving. And she wouldn’t deny Lyon what was rightfully his.
