Page 18 of The Earl Next Door
That last thought brought other memories to mind. The concentrated pressure from her husband to produce, the criticism from him because she didn’t, and the hurts and feelings of inadequacy for not measuring up to what her husband had expected of her when they married.
A wife to give him children.
Wake never believed she was as devastated as he was by her inability to conceive, but she was. That was the reason she agreed to all the things he made her go through. Things that were supposed to ensure she would have a babe.
Only after they married did she learn that Wake had picked her out of all the young ladies making their debut that Season because he thought she appeared to be the most favorable to give him a strong, healthy son. He didn’t charm and woo her so diligently because he thought her the most beautiful or wittiest, or even for her generous dowry. No. It was because she appeared to him to be the best young lady to withstand the rigors of childbearing.
All that was behind her now. In the past. Where it would stay.
Determined to keep the invading thoughts from lingering, Adeline tried to settle more comfortably into the bench, wanting only to breathe deeply and relax. It would have been much easier to accomplish if the seat had cushions. She made a mental note to ask Mrs. Lawton to put some out every morning. The days were getting warmer and there was no reason she shouldn’t come outside and enjoy the spring air—while reading a book, or stitching a flower on a handkerchief, or having her morning tea.
A shadow fell across Adeline’s face. She thought perhaps a thundercloud had eased across the sky. Or maybe Mrs. Lawton had come outside to check on her. What if the earl had returned? Her eyes popped open. Startled, she saw a little girl standing over her.
Adeline jumped to her feet.
“Good heavens. What’s wrong?” Adeline asked. “Did the earl return?”
The red-haired child with freckles sprinkled across her nose and crest of her rounded cheeks innocently glanced from one side of the house to the other. “I don’t see him anywhere.”
The girl didn’t look distressed, but Adeline bent down to her level and said, “You don’t have to be frightened. I’m going to make sure he doesn’t bother any of you again.”
“He didn’t frighten me,” she said confidently. “I’m not given to fits like some of the other girls who are living here. I only screamed because they were. He seemed like a nice man to me.”
That wasn’t an answer Adeline expected. All the girls were shrieking in terror as loud as humanly possible when she came out. “Then what are you doing here?”
“Looking at you.”
Squelching her first instinct to show her displeasure at the simple answer, Adeline reminded herself she was talking to a child not more than ten years old and then cleared her throat and smiled. “That was quite obvious. I meant to ask why you aren’t in the schoolroom having tea with everyone else?”
“I don’t care for tea,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“I see,” Adeline said, though she really didn’t. She didn’t know of anyone who disliked tea. There had to be another reason she was out of the school building. The thought that she might have been thinking about running away concerned Adeline. She didn’t have on her coat, bonnet, or gloves, though. “Your name is Fanny, right?”
She nodded and clasped her hands to the back of her skirt and gently swung her body back and forth.
“Did Mrs. Tallon or either of her helpers give you permission to come out here?”
“No,” she admitted calmly. “But I didn’t ask them.”
At least she was honest about it. “Don’t you think you should have sought someone’s consent before you left the school?”
She shrugged.
Fanny certainly wasn’t giving the appearance of a child who was trying to run away, but she wasn’t saying much either. Adeline asked, “Did you have plans to go anywhere in particular when you came outside?”
“No. I’m curious and just wanted to look around. Mum said it’s good to be curious. That’s how you learn things.”
“Fair enough. I can understand that. All your surroundings are new to you. It’s natural to want to see everything. We won’t worry about that this time, but I’m curious about something. How did you get out of the schoolroom without Mrs. Tallon knowing?”
“I was real quiet.”
Adeline made a mental note of that.
“And her back was turned to me. Irene was crying and Reba started crying, too. And another girl.” Fanny rolled her eyes. “I don’t remember her name. Mrs. Tallon was busy with them.”
Adeline’s heart constricted for all the girls and what they were going through. This change in their lives wouldn’t be easy, but the difference it could make in their futures would be immeasurable. That is what she had to focus on. The girls and their families had to make the sacrifices today so they would have a chance at better lives tomorrow. Boys went to boarding schools and managed it and ended up well educated, and so would these girls. They would realize they were just as strong and capable, and do beautiful seamstress work one day, too.
“I know this may not be the easiest of paths, but it will be the most rewarding for all of you,” Adeline said, feeling quite somber at the depth of her undertaking. “I wish I could hurry it along, but it can’t bedone that fast. Learning to read and write and be good at a trade takes time.”
