Page 20 of Tap Left
“You don’t ask boring questions, Lola.” He sounds apologetic. And this is a rare glimpse of the Daire that I first met. The one who didn’t intentionally use his defense mechanisms to alienate everyone. Back then, there were still occasions when I could see his vulnerability. It hasn’t happened in years though.
He’s different when he’s like this. When we’re pretending. He looks incredibly hot, in fact, and I have to remind myself that this is Daire. Ryan’s brother. The guy who doesn’t feel anything for anyone. The one who never lets anyone get too close. The guy who broke my heart once before.
"Would you like me to go first?" he asks. And I almost forgot about the game entirely.
"Yes."
He doesn't even have to think. It's only after the fact that I realize this is what Daire does for a living, and I'm out of my league.
"Tell me something that you thought was cool as a kid, but you're ashamed to admit now."
"Oh." My cheeks burn, and I know he's going to remember this. "JTT. He was like all the rage."
He smirks. And I wonder if he remembers the giant poster I had on my wall. He saw it when he brought me home once after Ryan insisted I play drinking games with him. Unfortunately, Ryan passed out, and I was sick as a dog and that only left Daire to get me home. I was mortified when he saw how girlish my bedroom was at the time. He never said a word then, and he doesn’t now because we're supposed to be strangers.
It’s different talking with Daire in this way. It feels lighter. Easier.
"What about you?" I ask.
"Parachute pants."
I forget my sense of decorum, and when I laugh, it's too loud. There are a couple stares from the tables around us, but Daire doesn't seem to care because he's actually smiling.
"Yes, I owned a pair. Or several. And I rocked them, FYI."
"I bet you did.”
It's my turn, and I try to think of an equally good question.
"What TV superhero would you be?"
Again, he doesn't even have to think about it. "The Hulk."
"Because of the temper?"
"Ladies love the hulk."
I roll my eyes. "No, I think they love Iron Man."
He shrugs. "What about you? Who would you be?"
"Jessica Jones," I answer. "She kicks ass."
He nods in agreement. "That she does."
Dinner comes, and we eat slowly. The game continues. I laugh more than I've ever laughed in... forever. I’m caught up in the moment. Daire is so relaxed, and I wonder if this is how he is around people he doesn’t hate.
We stay late, and I drink too many glasses of wine. More than I usually would, but my defenses are down, and I’m having an oddly good time. "Best memory?" I ask him.
He tells me about the summer he spent almost every night at the beach. And I remember that summer, because I was there, watching Ryan slowly fall apart. I wonder if I’m in any of those memories of his, but I don't dare ask.
"Worst memory?" Daire questions.
Like a cloud, sobering reality settles over both of us. He regrets asking the minute it's out of his mouth. And I can't lie on this one. I can't pretend.
"I think you already know that one."
He nods and reaches for the check. "You want to get out of here?"
