Page 81 of Tap Left
“Right, just like he wouldn’t tell you I slept with him if I didn’t.”
“You chose him,” Daire slurs. “That’s all there is to it.”
“I loved Ryan, but I didn’t choose him. I settled for him. And that’s the difference.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I guess all the things you said about me were true. I’m no good for you, LB. I’m glad you can finally see that.”
“You are infuriating,” I screech. “Do you know that? Do you even realize how exhausting it is to deal with you? You’ve thrown away a year of sobriety, and for what? Because I hurt your feelings? Get over it. In fact, get over yourself. You always take the easy way out, and this is why we never could have worked out.”
He finishes off the bottle in silence. And it feels wrong to leave him here like this, but I’m not responsible for Daire anymore.
It’s the most sobering realization I’ve ever had.
34
Daire
Forrest Gump would haveyou believe that life is like a box of chocolates. But for me, life has been a series of unfortunate decisions I’d like to forget. When I wake up, I know this must be one of them.
Something warm trickles down my temple as the faint sound of a machine registers in my brain. When I try to move my arms, I can’t, and it’s because I’m strapped down.
“Sir, I need you to stay still.”
I don’t know that voice, and I’m not even confident she’s talking to me until something sticks me in the arm. The machines continue a steady drumbeat in the background, but it’s distorted like I’m underwater. Bits and pieces of a radio conversation fill the gaps.
Patient. Northwestern Memorial. En Route.
I’m in an ambulance. The machine beeps faster when I try to open my mouth.
“Sir, I need you to stay still.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt anybody,” I wheeze. “I didn’t.”
“Sir, you were in an accident. I need you to stay calm, okay? You’re on your way to the hospital now.”
Accident.
She’s confirmed my fear. I don’t want to accept that I’ve done the thing I said I never would.
I got behind the wheel and made my last bad decision.
35
Lola
"Lola." Britt snaps her fingers. "Did you hear me?" I stare blankly, and she rolls her eyes.
"I take that as a no. You do realize that we have an event here in two hours, right? Nothing is even set up."
Shit.
I look around the shop, and she's right. There are promotional materials stashed in every nook and cranny promoting the event tonight, but nothing has been done. This is the part where I'm supposed to take charge and finish what I started. But it's also the part where I realize I’m a complete fucking mess.
I can't stop ruminating on Daire. He’s probably drinking himself silly again today. Was our relationship the catalyst that spun him back into darkness, altering his direction forever?
I walk through the shop like a zombie and start setting up. It’s time to accept things as they are. Daire can’t be purged from my system. He's left a permanent mark on my soul, and truthfully, I'm not entirely sure I want it gone.
The bell on the shop door chimes and I vaguely hear Britt talking to the customer who just walked in. But it’s a one-sided conversation, and when I look up, there’s a woman heading straight for me. I've never seen her before, but she seems to know exactly who I am. She's petite and beautiful with caramel skin and sleek chestnut hair. But when she comes to a halt in front of me, there is nothing but fire in her eyes.
