Page 67 of Tap Left
For about two seconds, I entertain the notion of confessing my feelings all over again. I could ask him to be honest. I could finish the conversation he tried to start yesterday. It’s risky and insane and downright terrifying, but is it possible that Daire has changed, or am I just wishful thinking?
I don’t know. But one thing I know for sure is that I can’t figure any of this out before I’ve had my caffeine. So, I pad down the hall to the kitchen and force my fingers to tap out a message to ThatGuy.
LolaB:
Guess you’ll find out in one week.
Iaddtwo winking emojis and feel like a complete hypocrite as I rifle through Daire’s cupboards. He has some sort of fancy pod machine on the counter, but no coffee that I can see. My heart stops when I open the bottom cupboard and find an entire bar’s worth of liquor. Some opened, some sealed. It’s the blast of cold water that wakes me right up.
He might act sober when I’m around him, and he might even be convincing, but this cupboard proves otherwise. My hands fall limply to my sides, and I wander back down the hall, sitting down on the bed to gather my thoughts. Daire is still in the shower, and I don’t know what’s going to happen when he comes out.
I don’t know what to do.
I need to talk to someone, but nobody in my life is impartial. Mellie thinks Daire is the worst thing for me and Britt is obsessed with him. I can’t even talk to Julian since I haven’t heard from after our last awkward encounter.
I grab my phone and do something impulsive and probably stupid.
LolaB:
Do you believe people can change?
ThatGuy:
Don’t people change all the time? I wasn’t the same guy ten years ago. Or even five. Isn’t the whole point of life to evolve?
LolaB:
I guess so. That makes sense.
And it does. I just don’t know if the same rules that apply to everyone else also apply to Daire.
ThatGuy:
I’m always right, Lola. You’ll figure that out eventually.
LolaB:
Pfft. Typical dude speak.
The phone pings again, but when I check the screen, I realize it isn’t mine. It’s Daire’s, and it’s sitting on the nightstand right beside me. I glance at the door and then back to the phone. He could be out any second. But then again, the man apparently takes the longest showers on the planet. In the end, I can’t help myself.
It’s a mistake I regret a moment later when I pull down the notifications and see the text on the screen. It’s a message from a woman named Graziela asking Daire where he was last night and how he could do this to her again.
My fingers tremble as I release the phone, and at the same time, the shower in the bathroom turns off.
I’m an idiot. That’s the only way to explain it. This entire time I’ve been contemplating my feelings for him, he’s been adhering to the original game plan. I believe him when he says we’re exclusive, but it doesn’t mean the second we call time he won’t be doing this with somebody else. I can’t face him now. I can’t look him in the eyes without betraying how much it hurts.
Fat tears are already streaking down my face as I scramble to pull on my dirty clothes. There isn’t time to write a note or pretend that everything is okay or even put on my shoes. I just grab them and run down the hall and punch into the elevator.
When the cab driver downstairs asks where I want to go, my answer is simple.
“Anywhere but here.”
26
Daire
Mondaysat the office always drag, but today has been particularly awful. My secretary cringes when I call her in, and the interns skitter into hiding every time I pop my head out. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not winning any awards in the patience department today and I’ve kicked around the idea of a drink at least five hundred times since my arrival.
