Page 20 of Lucent Academy 2: Trinity Awakens
Eventually, I pushed these thoughts away. They hurt too much. I faintly heard the dinner bell ring and realized I hadn't had anything since a few bites of food that morning. I got out of bed and dragged myself across the room.
At the door, with my hand on the doorknob, I hesitated. I was already feeling myself dying inside a little just imagining how people were going to react to my presence in the great hall for dinner. If this afternoon had been any sort of indication, they would be openly gossiping about me again. I was already feeling nervous, sweat rolling down my back just thinking of facing that again. Only, this time it was bound to be so much worse.
I felt my stomach grumble loudly. I was more than hungry. Performing magic took its toll on a caster's body and mind. I would have preferred to have dinner alone in the room, but the Academy had strict rules against bringing food up to the dormitories. I suspected that even a grand place such as this wasn't immune to a rat infestation if people weren't careful. Everyone was supposed to eat in the dining hall. I couldn't go to sleep on an empty stomach. I was bound to lie awake with hunger pains if I did. I felt the chocolate bar in my pocket that Ursula had slipped me this morning, but knew it wouldn't be enough to sustain me through the night.
Part of me also suspected that staying in my room tonight would only give power to the rumors that would be flying around regardless. If I acted like an outcast, people were sure to start treating me like one. I didn't want to give those whispering about me the satisfaction of having another tidbit to chatter about. I had done nothing wrong. What happened in the arena today was an accident. Surely I wasn't the only Manaborn to ever make a mistake and lose control over a piece of magic? We were, after all, here to learn how to use and control our powers.
That settled it, and I opened the door after taking a deep breath and raising my chin. There would be no looking down at my shoes either, I decided. My father had told me that one must always face problems squarely and head on. In her own quiet way, my mother, by her actions and the way she had always carried herself, showed me how to act with dignity. My parents were proud people and had taught me a very valuable lesson early in my life: A person should take pride in themselves. One doesn't need to be a nobleman to be noble. I had always been rather shy and self-conscious. I had always thought that acting nobly meant standing up for someone else, protecting someone who couldn't defend themselves. I had missed a key part of that early lesson and only understood it now.
Sometimes acting nobly meant standing up for oneself.
Walking into the great hall that night was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. As I feared, my sudden appearance was met with a silence so damning it felt like a monster hulking over me whose shadow I couldn't escape. I was very tempted to turn around, to skulk away with my tail between my legs, but I knew if I did it once, it would be more difficult to face everyone in classes and around the school tomorrow. I wished desperatelyfor the ability to turn myself invisible like some spellcasters could.
I avoided everyone's gaze and looked straight ahead of me. The temptation to look down was very strong. I hated being the center of attention like this. I had made my decision to stop hiding away as if I'd deliberately done something wrong. Now, I had to face up to the consequences of that choice. It wasn't fair. I hadn't chosen any of this. Not to be the Trinity, not to be Manaborn, any of it. I hadn't even chosen to be here, at the Academy. All Manaborn were obligated to attend for three years and to fight in the Void Wars afterward. Personal preference had never entered into it.
The moment I sat down between Amber and Oliver, the conversation picked up around me like a droning hum.
I caught Amber and Oliver looking at me. She was giving me a crooked smile, and he was nodding approvingly. "What?" I asked, and the blush on my face deepened. The last thing I wanted was for them to be looking at me like that.
"Nicely done," Amber whispered. "I was afraid we wouldn't be seeing you tonight."
On my other side, Oliver nodded. "Amber told me what happened, and by the sound of it, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. It was an accident, right? If you ask me, the instructors should have foreseen that something weird was going to happen during your demonstration. They should have taken precautions. They were careless not to. Maybe they will from now on."
I looked at him, surprised. "You really think so? What precautions, though? Is Crystalline supposed to stand next to me and shield everyone in case I decide to explode again?"
Oliver shrugged, "It's what I would do."
I glanced between them, and we all burst out laughing. I didn't know about them, but imagining the Principal's mate hovering around me like the world's most overpowered, living fire extinguisher just struck me as hilarious.
When our laughter died down, I looked over at the table where Principal Lucius was sitting with the rest of the staff. He caught my eye and gave me a slight nod. I could have been mistaken, but I thought I saw approval in that nod. After what had happened today, it felt a little like I was dreaming.
The tension drained out of me just like that, and I was glad I had decided to face everyone. Tucking into the roasted meats, fresh bread, soft cheese, and savory pies, I thought what a fool I would have been to miss out on this meal.
Chapter 12: A Snake in the Grass
As awkward and difficult as things had been before, after the near-disaster in the arena, things became ten times worse. For the next few days, classes became almost unbearable as students froze when I entered a room, whispered about me, and visibly paled when I glanced at them.
In social studies, when I asked Milisandra Scabbart for an extra pencil, she gave me the only one she had and then proceeded to beg other students to give her one of theirs. She refused to take the pencil back, no matter how many times I offered it back to her, until Miss Blyburg gave us both detention for making a nuisance of ourselves in her class. The fear that I might smite her where she sat for getting me in detention made Milisandra run from the classroom in tears, leaving me to stare at her vacated seat with my mouth hanging open in shock like an idiot. Miss Blyburg caught up to her in the hallway and could be heard screaming at Milisandra to stop her nonsense at once.
"If you don't come back, sit down and shut up, I will smite you myself, Miss Scabbart! Silly girl. I assure you, if one student smites another, they will be in worse trouble than a detention!"
Amber, Vivian, Natalie, and Kristin had a good laugh when I told them about the incident, and I suppose it made me feel a bit better that they didn't treat me like a weapon of mass destruction.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner times in the Great Hall were even worse. There, it felt like every student watched my every move, waiting for me to do something out of the ordinary. Once or twice, I noticed Trina Swift furtively talking with one of theother members of staff whom I didn't know. They shot me angry glances, and I had no idea what to do about it. I watched Caleb watch them, and then he looked at me. Our eyes met, and then he looked away guiltily. I knew then that they weren't saying nice things about me, and though he clearly didn't agree, he wasn't going to stand up for me either. He had too much history with Trina.
In magical lessons, Caleb had nervously assured me that he wasn't angry, that I hadn't exactly failed the test, but that I had to practice more control to do the firebolt spell, the third one on the list of spells we needed to master to move on to the next level of spellcasting.
He seemed relieved every time I failed to perform the spell. I didn't know what it was, but since my disastrous demonstration, I had become afraid of my own magic, and it was creating a block in my mind. It felt like pushing against a wall when I tried to perform any spell. I usually left classes irritated and dejected, and at dinner and lunch, I sat quietly next to Amber and Oliver, unable to take part in their too-lively, we're-trying-to-get-your-mind-off-it chatter.
Ines and her group of gaggling bitches also whispered about me behind their hands. When I looked over at them, they tended to fall quiet, but it made me feel even more like a freak of nature. I was sure that Ines and her friends were spreading rumors about me, making up stories that gave strength to the idea that I was dangerous and should be driven from the school. All because I didn't want to be friends with her at the beginning of the year.
As the days wore on, I just wished them over.
By the time it was another Saturday morning, I woke up feeling relieved. We didn't have any formal classes. Small groups ofstudents were scattered throughout the dining hall as most were taking advantage of the day off to sleep in or do other things to pass the time. Amber was nowhere to be found. I was disappointed, but it wasn't completely unexpected, as she probably had breakfast earlier. She wasn't one for sleeping late. After dutifully downing some toast with marmalade and a glass of orange juice, I walked down to the stables. I wanted to go out for a ride alone and needed some time to myself to think.
Amber enjoyed the horse riding lessons—we all did—and I was sure I'd find her there. I was disappointed, however, when it turned out she wasn't there either. Then I felt a sneaky sort of relief because I didn't have to make up an excuse for why I wanted to be alone. Perhaps, if I had told her the truth, she wouldn't have minded, but I also felt guilty for wallowing in this as much as I was.
Lots of other students were either returning from a ride or about to embark on one. I rolled my eyes when I noticed Ines and a few of her friends standing by the fence, openly judging the horses. I could only imagine what that conversation would be like, each of them swearing they had much better horses back home.
