Page 88 of Forgotten
I didn’t need to remember Ash’s teary face as he came home one day in 2023, and started telling me about a call with his mother. She’d rang only to accuse him of brainwashing his brothers and turning them against their father.
I didn’t need to remember the reaction of one of my new colleagues in 2024, when I’d told them I had a boyfriend and we were, in fact, thinking of adopting. I definitely didn’t need to remember how they accused me of being degenerate and a mistake.
And obviously, I could have lived without reliving that time Ash found me sitting in the shower, water running down my naked skin. Panicking.
“I- uh, I’m… ah, I-… kids.”
“Baby. Ford. Look at me.”
But I can’t. I’m so lost and can’t stop the tears from falling, the limbs from shaking.
“Breathe.” Ash orders, pushing a very loud breath out. He does it again, and again, and then, it hits me.
He’s giving me a guide. So I do my best to match him. The air in our lungs syncs up, and it’s not the first time I have the impression Ash is saving my life. After what feels like forever, I lift my head. Exhausted, speechless, I find Ash, love and concern painting his beautiful face.
“Better?” he asks.
I can only nod.
“Cold?”
And only then I see that he’s fully clothed under the shower, wet and shivering himself.
Ash guides me out, towels me dry and sends me under the covers. He’s behind me in a heartbeat, arms hugging me to his chest. “Have you changed your mind about having children?” Ash finally asks in the dark.
I shake my head. No.
“Changed your mind about being with me?”
Headshake. No.
“Children with me?” Ash tries again.
No.
“Is this about the plate I dropped the other day?” Ash tries to suppress a smile.
My eyes widen in surprise but I know what Ash’s doing. I shake my head. No. Then, because I can’t help myself, I ask, “What plate?”
“Ah. That was a trick question.” His blue eyes are sparkling with pride. “Talk to me.”
“I want to learn how to braid her hair.” It’s Ash’s turn to be speechless. So I continue. “I want to feel like she belongs to us. Like we have every right to raise her.”
Ash hums in response, “Braids.”
Nevermind we’re two men, with no clue how to handle hair, let alone thick dark curls. I nod. “Braids.”
???
Back to the present and I have no idea how I got on the floor, on my knees. I’m naked and sweaty, hot and cold at the same time and there’s tears running down my face. I’m sobbing. Ash is wrapping his arms around me and holding me to his chest. His lips are pressed to my hair and he’s humming something warm and loving.
I never wanted anything else, since the day I met him. Should’ve known sooner.
I feel out of my mind as I start to laugh hysterically through the tears. Relieved.
“You’ll get me a ring, yeah?”
“Mmh.”
