Page 78 of Forgotten
If the days are for our family, the nights are for us. By now there’s two things I’m sure of: Ash loves me, and Ash loves fucking me.
I knew, deep down, that sex with Ashley Bergman was going to ruin me. I wasn’t ready for the real thing, for the feeling at the pit of my stomach whenever I get to watch as Ash’s body gives in to lust.
He loves giving himself to me—sweet eyes pleading for more, harder—but quickly enough I discover that he loves being in charge just as much. He towers over me and pushes me down with his surprisingly strong arms and I wonder how can someone so skinny be so strong?
Ash loves taking his time, pushing his tongue deep between my glutes until I’m begging for more. Begging for what, I don’t even know. And he loves taking me fast, against the bedroom door, propped up on the kitchen counter. With him I’m loud and desperate and completely myself. It feels much more intimate than anything I have ever experienced and maybe Ash is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Scrap that. No maybes. Ash is definitely the reason why sex with everybody else always felt wrong.
And then on Thursday night as I’m lying in bed sweaty and naked and empty, I realise: I have been treating this like sex.
But Ash has not. Every time Ash is kissing me, every time he’s searching my eyes for permission to do, take, give, come… this has been something totally different. I close my eyes at the realisation: Ash has been making love to me. Resolute, I turn around. I wrap my arms around Ash and I rest my forehead against Ash’s nape and let out a long breath.
Although, this is still Ashley. He calls me “daddy” that night, and it’s clearly meant as a joke, until it’s not. It turns me on like crazy and I spit on my fingertips, reaching for Ash’s arse and spreading his cheeks tentatively.
“Yes, please…”
“Fuck me.”
“Uh, are you sure?” I’m lying under Ash and the feeling is delicious. I want to die under Ash’s weight.
“Fuck, yes.”
I reach for lube and Ash stops me, bringing my fingers to his mouth and wetting them with his saliva. Yes, fuck.
When Ash releases my fingers, I waste no time. I reach for Ash and find his rim, the skin soft and hot. Scorching hot. Just like the rest of Ash.
“Ford, just...”
I’m too horny to articulate words, my brain is just a puddle of embarrassing goo and horniness and Ash.
“Or should I say, daddy?” Ash says, pushing his arse up into my hands. “Fuck me, daddy, please.”
???
On Friday morning Ash is getting ready to go to university for a fancy professor meeting.
“Do you remember when you started your PhD? You and I weren’t talking.”
“Thanny,” Ash acknowledges darkly.
“I wish I could’ve been there to help you.”
Ash sighs, tapping at his chest. “You always were.” Then he lets out a humorous laugh.
“What?”
“I was just thinking. That was such a horrible time, I wish we could erase it from our memories.” Spoken out loud, the words cut through both of us like a knife.
Ash’s blue eyes focus on the tip of his feet and then breathing is hard. Instinctively, I bring my hands to my face, knowing what is about to happen. The melodic beeping of a monitor in a hospital bed, the sound of a truck hitting the side of a car, the sirens coming in the distance. Red blood dripping down Ash’s face, the airbag blowing in my own.
“Ford,” Ash calls out and I feel the warm touch of his hands on my skin. I need his touch more than anything, I need his hands off me, I need to stop my head from spinning.
“Ashford, come on.” And this time, he throws his arm around me and cuddles me to his side. “It’s all good. We’re all good. Look,” he says and forces me to face him. “We’re fine.”
“I was driving too fast.” It’s the first time I’m speaking these words and we’re the only two people in the world.
Ash looks surprised but he shakes it off quickly. “You weren’t. You never drive fast, Ford. It just happened. Sometimes, things just happen.”
“It happened because of me,” I tell him, but Ash simply shakes his head. With his white shirt and cream pants, he looks calm and loving. He kisses the tip of my nose and the knots in my brain loosen. “Do you really have to go today?”
