Page 80 of Eat Me Alive
Slimy and pallid, the thing on the ceiling opens its flaps and dumps several wet things on my naked, unflinching skin. Like a soft reptilian egg, they hatch open. They don’t look like anything I’ve seen before. They are little black splatters moving like worms. One, closer to my face, the other toward my thigh.
I don’t know how fear works when you can’t even tremble, scream, react. They do not take pity on me as they invade me. The violation is a feeling I will always remember. It haunts, it stays, it stains.
And right now, I have no choice but to let it burrow into me. Implant themselves until the day humanity will bury my bones.
When the nightmare finally releases me, I don’t cry. I am numb and excruciatingly alone. My chest feels hollow that I’m sure if I move, it’ll rankle with the heart set loose, broken inside.
Datu, where are you when I need you?
I never realized until now how much the humans corrupted Esoterra.
As I listen to Captain Moriarty and the other men brag about sleeping with female Terra, the more disappointed I become at my kind. The details are absolutely unnecessary, and—as a female—I feel disrespected.
How is this happening? I despise every species similar to this piece of shit with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I know for a fact we are not all the same, but why do good things fall into the hands of the most horrid people?
I can’t even believe this man is real. Out of the seven, he says the loudest, most disgusting out-of-pocket things such as describing genitalia like they are…things.Objects. Not people with feelings.
“Best to ignore him. He’s always like that.” Alani is the only woman here in the ship. After I was dropped off here by the others, she’s been my self-appointed caretaker. She cares for me while my body recovers from all the sores.
I am bruised all over, but it’s not normal bruising. I shift my arm and when the light hits my skin at a particular angle, I see my veins are purple and black.
“Urgh, am I radioactive?”
“No, they scanned you.” She answers this like it’s nothing.
Strange.
Changing the topic, I ask, “Why are you on the ship and not in the village with the others?”
She’s stiff, wide-eyed as she blinks, pursing her lips. I know that look. It’s the look of someone who doesn’t want to say lest no one believes them. A shield.
“I’m on your side. You can tell me.” My voice is barely a rasp.
Her eyes water but she never lets them fall. “He won’t let me leave.”
“Who?”
“The captain.”
“Why?”
“You know why.” She is shaking, her eyes hard and more than a little angry.
Something feels heavy in my chest. I want to comfort her, but for the life of me, I don’t know how. Awkwardly, I pat her back until my ass started hurting.
“I can do it myself, Ani.” I tell her as she helps me up.
“No, no, it’s fine. I want to help you.” For a sad moment, I think Alani just wants company.
Shaking my head, I tell her, “I appreciate it, but I need to go alone and get this plug out of my asshole.”
She covers her mouth and backs away. Yes, I still have Datu’s god damned teeth up my ass. For some unhinged reason, I had forgotten everything about my life yesterday. I’m not sure how long the glitch lasted, or how it came to be, but it’s as if I’m swathed with new savage freedom.
It’s a weird but gripping reality. I see two sides of the same coin atthe same timenow. I feel like a stranger who knows too much of myself. The abrupt cognizance is jarring, but it dulls away the reservation and shame I have for life.
The girl Mother had leashed with all her rules and punishments became unencumbered. Not completely free, just open enough that her hold upon me loosens. Finally, I can breathe easier.
I remember every single thing, and I do not care for it like I did before. I stumble into the ship’s bathroom and do what I came herefor. I toss the plug into the sink, feeling strange about it. Instead of throwing it out, I reluctantly wash it while my eyes water.
