Page 102 of Dream in Darkness
I put distance between us and twirl Yasmeena for a moment before pulling her back into me.
“Is being Alpha the best thing that’s ever happened to you?” she asks through giggles. She seems genuinely giddy, happy to be in my arms, and it’s killing me.
Now that I allow myself to feel emotion, it’s hard not to cry as I hold her close for what might be the last time. “No,” I say honestly, and my voice breaks.
As if the music stops, Yasmeena’s feet come to a sudden halt. “What?”
“No, nuisance,” I say, shaking my head. “The best thing that ever happened to me was you.”
I can’t do this.I can’t be here and dance with her, watching her smile and enjoy the night, because if I do, I’m not sure I’ll be able to let go again. I need her like I need oxygen. I’m fucking drowning, unable to reach the surface when I’m not with her.
I realize now I don’t know if I ever knew real love before her, because this is all-consuming. I wanted to be friends—Hel, Iasked for all the leaders to meet a few times a year, just so I could see her—but I don’t think I can do it. Seeing Yasmeena is like seeing a mirage. I’m so thirsty and desperate, but it’s not real. She’s not here, she’s not mine.
Letting go of Yasmeena, I rush out of the tent. Stephano stands to follow me, but I watch Zuri stop him. As I step out into the open air, I bump into Luc.
“My apologies, my infernal king,” I say, and curtsy, my dress preventing me from taking a knee. When I look up, he nods. There are dark circles below his eyes, a small splatter of blood on his lapel, and he continues walking without saying another word.
I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with whateverthatwas.
I find my legs taking me down a familiar dirt-lined path until I end up outside our tent—Yasmeena’stent. It’s not the smartest place to escape to, but it’s the only place I know.
“Tempest,” I hear her shout from a few hundred steps away. “Tempest.”
She’s inching closer, and I hold my breath. Part of me hopes she walks right past, and part of me desperately needs to see her again before I leave.
Yasmeena enters the tent and my heart stalls. “Tempest, what are we doing?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, leaning against her dresser, scratching the back of my head. “I shouldn’t have come tonight and I definitely shouldn’t have asked you to dance.”
She steps closer, and I can practically feel her breath against me. “Why? Why couldn’t we spend one last night pretending this was real?”
A million thoughts cross my mind.Because I used to have nightmares about my abuse, but now all my dreams revolve around you. Because I would give everything up if it meant we could be together, but even then I’m not sure that would be enough.
“Because it was always real to me,” I finally say out loud for the first time, and it’s like a weight waslifted off my chest.
A soft gasp leaves her lips, tears swelling in her eyes. “That doesn’t make any sense. You said it yourself, you hated me in the beginning.”
I nod. “I might have hated you, but you were still mine to protect. You have always been mine.”
It’s not how I dreamt of doing this one day—nowhere close—but I realize I have to. It feelsright.Honestly, it’s now or never. We’re both messed up and a little broken, so maybe this is exactly how it should happen.
My mind takes me back to what Taryn said.
Take a leap of faith.
Movement No. 38
Yasmeena
“Marry me,” she says, and shock moves through my body, crashing like ocean waves against a dark shore.
I laugh. I don’t mean to, but it comes out anyway, broken and misplaced. A single tear falls down her cheek, and it undoes me. This wasn’t how I pictured this moment for us, and everything seems to move with glacial speed. I’m suspended in time, my thoughts a messy whirlwind of the last few months.
Growing up, I was never the type to dream of wedding dresses or rings, too busy fighting every day to survive, but something changed when I met Tempest. My animosity gradually turned to admiration, and I found myself wanting those things.
The vows and the kiss and the promise of forever, it all sounded nice when the concept was attached toher, but then she put an end to it all. Packed up her things and left, taking my hopes and dreams with her.
“It was your idea to tell everyone the engagement was a farce.Youended things. You fuckingleftme,” I say, my voice coming out more raw than I intended.
