“A killer.” The word comes out harsh. “An enforcer for a crime family. A man who hurts people for a living.”
“A man who brings me wings because I mentioned once that I liked them. Who watches terrible movies without complaining. Who taught me to throw a punch and burned my eggs this morning because he wanted to make me breakfast even though he can’t cook.” Her voice shakes. “He sees me, Saul. The real me. Not Beth Taylor. And he cares for that me.”
The real her.
I’ve been trying to help her become Beth Taylor. Build a life. Settle in. And the whole time, she’s been finding her way back to Stevie with someone else.
“And Dario?” I ask.
She’s quiet for a long moment. “I’ve been going back,” she admits. “To the city. To his restaurant. His house.”
“His house.”
“The door was unlocked. He left it unlocked for me.”
I close my eyes. Count again. Try to find something solid to hold onto. “How many times?”
“A few.”
“A few.” I open my eyes. “You’ve been violating witness protection to visit the man you testified against. Breaking into his house. And now you’re sleeping with his enforcer.”
“And him. Dario too. I know how it sounds.”
“I don’t think you do.” My voice rises despite myself. “I don’t think you understand that you’ve just told me you’re in a relationship with two members of a crime family. That everything I’ve done to keep you safe is worthless because you’ve been broadcasting your location to the people most likely to want you dead.”
“They’re not going to hurt me. They told him to. Enzo won’t. Dario would never let his family hurt me.”
“Enzo was sent to hurt you!” The words explode out of me. “Someone in the family gave him orders. And what do you think happens when they realize he didn’t follow through? When they send someone else?”
She flinches.
“He told me,” she says quietly. “About the orders. That’s why he came to warn me. That’s why he’s been watching.”
“And you thought sleeping with him would help the situation?” The words are cruel. I know they’re cruel even as I say them.
She looks at me like I’ve slapped her.
“I didn’t plan it,” she whispers. “I didn’t plan any of this. I just… I was disappearing, Saul. Every day a little more. And they see me. Both of them. They see Stevie, not Beth. And I know it’sdangerous and I know it’s stupid and I know you’re angry but I can’t.” Her voice breaks. “I can’t go back to being invisible. I can’t.”
“You’re not invisible,” I snap back. “You were never invisible to me. I saw you. Every day. I brought you…”
“Blankets!” She’s yelling now too. “You brought me blankets and coffee and baking supplies like I’m a project! Like if you just give me the right things I’ll settle into being Beth Taylor and be grateful!”
“That’s not…”
“It is!” Her hands are shaking. “You want me to survive. They want me to live. There’s a difference, Saul.”
She’s right.
I’ve been trying to help her survive witness protection. They made her feel alive despite it.
The fight drains out of both of us.
I sink onto her couch. The one with the teal blanket I brought her. The one where I’ve sat with her eating takeout and talking about nothing, pretending this was just a job.
“You lied to me.” I don’t look at her. “All those check-ins. All those times I asked if you were okay. You looked me in the eye and lied.”
“I know.”
