But that’s not going to happen.
Because we exist in completely different universes that only overlap when I do something criminally stupid.
I should really, really go.
I’m reaching for the ignition when a curtain moves in the upstairs window.
My whole body freezes.
Someone’s there. Looking out. A shadow behind the fabric, the shape of a person.
Is it him? Can he see me?
Oh God oh fuck oh no.
This is how I die. Not from witness protection violation. Not from Saul’s disappointment. From being spotted by a mobster while cosplaying as a deranged real estate agent.
I start the car. Too fast. The engine revs louder than it should because I’ve slammed my foot on the gas.
Subtle, Stevie. Very subtle. Nothing says “I’m not stalking you” like peeling away from the curb like you’re fleeing a crime scene.
Because I am. I am fleeing a crime scene.
The crime is me. I’m the crime.
Book me under aggravated yearning and throw away the key.
I drive three blocks before I pull over.
What am I doing?
I violated witness protection. Drove four and a half hours. Left him cookies. Stole his pen. Followed him home. Sat outside his house memorizing his landscaping like a deranged real estate appraiser.
And now someone, maybe him, probably him, saw me.
Or saw my car. Or saw something.
I press my forehead against the steering wheel.
This is insane. This is dangerous.
This is the most alive I’ve felt since I became Beth Taylor.
The drive home feels longer.
The adrenaline that carried me through the restaurant, through tailing his car like an unhinged amateur detective, is gone now. Burned off somewhere around hour two.
What’s left is exhaustion and a creeping sense of what the fuck did I just do.
I could have been caught. By him. By someone who works for him. By law enforcement who would report back to Saul.
Saul. God. If he knew what I did today, he’d…
I don’t know what he’d do. Be disappointed, probably. That quiet, steady disappointment that’s worse than anger because it means he expected better from you.
He brought me pillows. Curtains. A plant that’s supposed to be impossible to kill.
And I repaid him by driving four hundred miles to stalk the man he’s supposed to be protecting me from.
