Page 50 of Jealous God
“Can’t run away from the past, El. At some point, you have to be brave and face it. That’s how you heal.” Slinging his bag over one shoulder, he used the other arm to pull me into his side, and pressed a kiss on my hair. “Now let’s go home.”
“I don’t have a home, Legacy. I guess I could get a hotel for a few days and—”
“You have a home, El. You have always had a home.”
I side-eyed him. “I am not living with him.” There was no way I was staying in our family home. I would rather sleep rough on the rainy streets of London than have to follow my dad’s rules.
“No one’s saying that. Come stay at the clubhouse for a while.” Catching my look, Legacy smiled. “Don’t worry, he’s not there. You won’t run into him. And later we can...” He started walking, giving me no choice but to fall into step beside him. “I’ll need a few days to clean my place up, but you can stay there. I mostly stay at the clubhouse these days, anyway.”
And just like that, my brother, the one who I had barely spoken to for ten years, swooped down and saved the day. But then again, wasn’t that what big brothers were for? Fucking your life up and then putting it all back together again?
TWENTY-NINE
Jax
Six days after I had caught Elodie with another man, we were on a plane back home and, honestly, it couldn’t have come any quicker. I needed my own space to process everything that had happened. I needed time away from the sympathetic eyes and endless questions from the band about what had gone on. Dion was especially pissed at me. More so than the others, and I understood that. He and Elodie had grown close over the last few weeks. He needed her.
I needed her as well. In a totally different way. Her leaving, her choosing Legacy over me crippled me in a way that I never wanted to feel again. All the songs said that love hurt. It didn’t hurt. That didn’t quite cover it. Love had plunged a knife into my abdomen and gutted me.
Of course, the rest of them were angry with me too. Not that any of them said anything, but it was there in their eyes. They presumed I had been the one to fuck things up.
“Ok, enough.” Dion’s fingers tore the headphones from my head, dropping them onto my lap. “What really happened the night you missed the show?”
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back. Maybe if I ignored him, he would go away and let me try to enjoy the luxury of first class in peace.
“I got drunk. It happens. You should know.” I cranked an eye open, staring at him as he continued to scowl down at me.
“And Eli left. No goodbyes, no fucking note. She and half our security just upped and left. Why?”
“She quit.” I closed my eyes again.
“What the hell did you do, Jax? Did you mess around on her? She was a good kid and—”
My eyes flew open. My lips curled. “No, I didn’t fucking mess around on her. I didn’t even look at another woman. I actually thought...” I stammered to a halt, unable to go on. I couldn’t say the next words out loud because if I did, then it would make it more real. It would make this whole fucked up mess reality, and I so desperately wanted to pretend it had never happened. That’s what going home would do for me. Give me a chance to forget Elodie, with her unruly curly hair, her no nonsense attitude and the sight of her perfect creamy tit slipping free of her camisole the first time I had seen her.
“You actually thought what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Not now.” And it didn’t. Maybe it never really did. After all, we were only meant to be a tour thing. That was what we decided. Was it Elodie’s fault that I had wanted more? I had been the one to put the expiry date on what was going on between us. “Drop it, Dion, ok?”
“You were falling in love with her.” His voice was a hushed whisper. “Fucking hell.”
“Doesn’t matter if I was or not. It’s over. I learned my lesson and moved on.”
Dion continued to stare at me. “If you love her, then you need to talk to her. Don’t let her slip through your fingers. If I could go back, I would—”
“You would leave Lola alone?”
He shook his head. “Hell no, that girl got under my skin the moment I saw her. She fucking blind-sided me.” He chuckled. I could understand that. Hadn’t Elodie done exactly the same thing? She had been all I could focus on. And I had fought it every step of the way until I couldn’t fight it anymore, and then she had ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it.
“But I’d do things differently. I would do it right. It’s too late for me. Lola won’t give me the time of day after the Isla debacle, but you’ve got a chance, brother. A real chance with a good woman.”
A good woman? I almost laughed. “I caught her fucking around with someone else.”
“Wh—, no way. That’s not Eli.” He swallowed hard enough to make his Adam’s apple bob up and down. I could see the surprise in his eyes, the absolute shock, and then slowly and surely the sympathy I knew would come when they all found out the truth.
“I caught her, Dion. With that new guy, Legacy.”
“You are fucking fool, Jax Turner, a fucking fool,” Erik spoke from the row behind us, leaning forward. I had thought he was asleep, but he had quite clearly been listening in to our conversation. “I’d go as far as being a complete moron for not letting her explain.”
