Page 49 of Cyber
“Asleep.” Monster’s eyes caught mine and his eyebrow arched in a silent question. “I put her on the sofa. Maggie is in there with her.”
“I should go and check on her.”
My hand tightened around hers. “She's fine, Iris. Let her sleep.”
Her eyes blazed in her head and for a second I thought she was going to rip her hand from mine. “I just want to check on my daughter, Cyber.”
“Our daughter.”
Monster stood, obviously uncomfortable. “I've been standing guard, Iris, and there's a prospect on the back door. Why don't you go and enjoy yourself with Cyber? Grab a beer and some food.” His eyes travelled between us. “Maybe sort out whatever the fuck is happening between the pair of you this time.”
“Nothing is happening…” This time she did tear her hand away, and they went straight to her hips. Hips that only an hour ago I had been clutching as I found my release in her body. How quickly things had changed. She had been clinging to me then.
She had told me she loved me, and I had fucked it all up. Again.
“I just want to see my daughter.” Without another word, she stomped back into the house, leaving my hand to fall limply at my side.
“What the hell just happened?” Monster settled himself back on his perch, his expression unreadable. We all had our parts to play that night. And his was keeping guard over my daughter. It wasn't a job he was enjoying. And he would enjoy it even less before the night was over, but he would do it. For me.
I shrugged. Plucking the beer bottle out of his fingers, I studied it for a minute. “How many of these have you had?”
“My first. I can drive, Cyber.” Monster huffed. “Want to explain to me why she's just come down here looking like she wants to either slit your throat or burst into tears?”
I could feel his bright eyes on my face, but I didn't answer him.
“Everyone could hear her an hour ago,” Monster carried on, ignoring the death stare I threw in his direction. “Sounded like the two of you were getting on pretty well.” He grinned.
“Fuck off.” Tipping the bottle to my lips, I took a long pull. “She told me she loved me.”
“And that's bad, why?” Monster grabbed the warm bottle back from me. “I thought that's what you wanted, you love her, don’t you? Or are you still pretending she's not the woman for you?”
Shaking my head, I let it drop into my hands. “Don't be a fool. I didn't say it back.” The misery in my voice was tangible, and Monster’s head snapped up. “Probably my last chance and I didn’t fucking say it, Monster. She’s going to leave here thinking I don’t give a shit.”
“Brother.” Monster’s voice broke. It was strange hearing so much emotion in his voice. “You don't have to do this. You can make up for being a fool every day of your lives.”
Shaking my head, I climbed back to my feet. He was right about one thing. I did have to tell her. I had to make things right before it was too late.
“She's beautiful.” Coming to a halt behind Iris, I let my chin fall on the top of her head. My sleeping daughter was on the sofa in front of us. “I can't believe we made her.”
“I don't want to fight, Cyber.”
Resigned, I sighed. I pulled her back against my front. Is that what she thought I wanted to do? Fight? “I'm not here to fight, Iris. I'm here to tell you…” Again, I stumbled over my words. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I say them to her?
“Can we talk?”
“You said that last time, Cyber. I'm not falling for that again.” There was a note of teasing to her voice, and I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. Turning her in my arms, I tilted her chin up to mine.
“I still have the handcuffs we didn't get to use, Iris.” My lips brushed over hers. “But I honestly just want to talk. But outside, I don't want to wake anyone. I will get Monster to sit in here.” My eyes lingered on my daughter.
I was the last person anyone would expect to want a child. If you had asked me six months earlier, I would have laughed at you, but looking at her sleeping peacefully, my heart felt like it was going to break with the amount of love I had for her. And for her mom as well.
We had made a little person.
“You did such a good job with her, Iris. I'm sorry I wasn't there to see her growing up. I wish I had been.” I had never said a truer word. Bending at the waist, I pressed my lips to my daughter's dark hair. She didn't stir.
“Come on, let's go and talk.” Leading Iris by the hand, we made our way out to the front. I nodded my head to Monster as we passed him. Silently giving him a message that he was to go inside now.
“Cyber….”
