Page 30 of Cyber
“No, but the fact you kissed me back tells me you still like me. My hand is still on your ass, Iris, you haven't pulled away. So, there's a chance we could be.”
His hand was on my ass, his thick fingers kneading absently. He was right. I had kissed him back. I had been almost desperate about it. And I liked the feel of his hands on my body, the feel of his chest crushing my breasts.
“You won't take no for an answer will you?”
Throwing back his head, he laughed. Great, big belly laughs. “No, so give me a break and let me try and do this romance thing ok? It’s new territory for me.”
Now that was something I could believe.
“Cyber, why are you really doing this?” I motioned around me wildly at his blank expression. “This whole romance thing isn't you.”
“No, it's not, but you deserve some romance, don't you? Isn't that what you always wanted from me?”
My mouth fell open. Was that what he thought I wanted? Some farce?
“I don't want something that isn't real,” I stated.
“Real is important, Iris.” Something in the way he said it made me blink up at him. “The truth is important in any relationship, so I am going to be truthful.” His brown eyes darkened for a second, a shadow flitting across his face. “I want you. I’ve always fucking wanted you. I've craved your body from the minute I left you asleep back in that hotel room years ago. My dick gets hard the moment you step into the room. If I had my way, I would fuck you right here in the grass.” He shook the thought away. “But I can't do any of that. I can't have any of that until I've proven to you that I'm worthy, so I'm trying it this way. I’m fucking trying.”
“But why? That's what I don't understand.”
Anger flashed in his eyes as they narrowed into slits, and his lips thinned.
“You must know there's no future for us. As soon as I have Violet, I'm leaving. I never want to step foot in this country again.” That might have been true, but I didn't step away from him. I wanted to keep touching him.
“But I get you for now?”
Maybe it was my imagination, but I could hear hope in his voice.
“Cyber, it's not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.” Lifting me easily, his lips trailed my jawline. “None of us know what's going to happen in the future. I could come off my bike and die at the side of the road tonight when I leave you. Someone could put a bullet in my head. God knows I’ve got enough enemies”
My fingers clutched at the back of his neck a little tighter. I didn’t like him talking like that. Even if it was true. Maybe I didn’t like it because it was true.
“Don't talk like that.”
“It's sweet you care, Iris.” His voice was husky, softness filling his eyes. “All I'm saying is that we have to grab any happiness we can with both hands. None of us know how long we have.”
“And spending time with me will make you happy?”
“Yes. It will make you happy as well. Everything will be ok, Iris. I'll make sure of it.”
Something in his tone made me do a double take. Cyber wasn't telling me something. But I couldn't really complain since there were things I wasn’t telling him as well. Important things.
We both had secrets.
But he was right. If we could bring happiness to each other for just a little while, then what did I have to lose?
Except maybe my heart.
“Ok.”
“Ok?” He arched an eyebrow in my direction.
I cracked a smile. “Yeah, ok.”
I was crazy to agree to it. I hated him. Almost as much as I wanted him.
