Page 12 of Cyber
Cyber didn't even flinch. “I feel guilty about a lot of things, Iris, but that isn't one of them. I will find your kid and then I will help you both set up in a new life far away from this place. But you need to let me help you.”
Slowly, I nodded. “I can do that.” Hell, I could do anything if it meant getting Violet back. “But, Cyber? Why are you doing this? Why are you helping us?”
His hand reached for my cheek, and this time I didn't finch away as his thumb brushed against the tear on my cheek. He brushed it away carefully, his touch soft, and then stared at the wet smudge on his thumb thoughtfully.
“Isn't it obvious Iris? Guilt.”
6
cyber
The chancesof the kid being mine were slim. The words kept going around and around in my head as I sat opposite Havoc and Fang at the kitchen table a few hours later, with frosty beers in front of us.
Slim to none were her actual words, and I was glad of that. I would have stepped up if she had been mine, but I wasn't ready for a kid. And I sure as hell wasn’t mature enough for one. I was too selfish, and I loved my life. What wasn't there to love? I was a good-looking man who rode with one of the most respected and feared clubs in the country. I had everything I could ever want: a group of brothers around me that were closer than family, the open road whenever I felt like riding and a steady stream of women eager to warm my bed.
What more could a man ask for?
Except she hadn't said Iwasn'tthe kid's dad. She had said the chances were slim.
“You're thinking about Iris, right?” Fang chuckled darkly and I shot a look at him, the cold bottle at my lips.
“Yeah, he's been like this since the hospital,” Havoc added unhelpfully.
“I don’t know what the fuck you mean.” I took a long pull of the beer, letting the cold, frothy liquid cool my burning throat, but I couldn't help the fact that my eyes darted towards the door. Iris was out there with Darcie, doing some girly shit or something.
“The way you keep looking at the door says you do.”
“He's been looking at or for her since the hospital,” Havoc interjected again, and I wanted to smash my fist into his face
“Fang told me to watch her.”
“He didn't tell her anything about him not killing her dad by the way. Don't you think that's funny?”
Fang shot Havoc a look before leaning back on his chair. “Is that right? Why is that Cyber? You not planning on trying to rekindle what you once had?” There was so much judgement in his voice that it took me a second to compose my features.
“No, I'm not looking to rekindle anything.”
“Good, because that girl has been through enough. I might not fully trust her, but she doesn't need to be involved in any more shit. Falling for you will only cause her more heartache. So, don't let it happen.” His eyes found mine and narrowed. “That means no taking her to bed, Cyber. She's too damaged.”
“Just what kind of asshole do you think I am, Fang?” I knew exactly what kind of asshole they thought I was though. They knew me. They knew my reputation. “But if you want to know why I didn't tell her the truth about her dad, it's because she needs to hate someone. It keeps her going. If that person has to be me, then so be it. I'm a big man, I have wide shoulders; I can take it. If she needs to hold on to her hatred to get through this, then so be it.”
Fang swore under his breath, muttering something I didn't quite catch. Both of them looked at me like I had grown another head.
“And when I find her kid, I am getting her as far away from me and all of this as possible,” I vowed.
In the end it took six hours to get Iris to the club house. Darcie took charge and stalled every chance she got. I knew Havoc's old lady wasn't happy about the arrangement, but I couldn't care less. Keeping her happy was Havoc's business, not mine.
Fang had made some calls beforehand and the clubhouse was almost empty. There were no half naked women lounging around the yard or giving head in the common room. The whole place felt morose.
Not that I stopped to do much more than raise my hand in greeting to the few club brothers who were lounging about, drinking beer. I didn't want Iris around all that any more than she wanted it.
“This way.'' Heaving the overnight bag Darcie had packed for her, I led her away from the main rooms and into the labyrinth of corridors that housed the offices and bedrooms.
“You’ll stay here.” Shoving her bag under my arm, I unlocked the door and stepped back so she could walk through first. It gave me the perfect opportunity to look at her without her knowing.
She was still beautiful. But thin. Sickly so. Darcie's clothes hung off her. Her hair was dyed a bright, brassy white. She was still Iris, but she wasn't the sweet, beautiful girl I had met all those years ago.
“This is your room?” She shot me a look over her shoulder as I closed the door softly behind her, and she jumped at the sound.
