Page 10 of Gentleman Wanted
Chapter Five
Gemma
Everything looked exactly the same. Even down to my clothes in the wardrobe. The only thing that was different in my tiny little one-bedroom apartment was the fact that someone had already put up Bobby’s crib in the corner of my room. There were several dozen moving boxes stacked up by the window.
It was almost like I had never left. But it didn’t feel like home. It felt nothing like the home I had spent the last months craving. It was like I was a stranger here.
Even with my living room full of the sounds of quiet laughter from the friends I had missed so much, the place felt empty.
It was like there was a great big gnawing hole, and it was because Gent wasn’t there. I wasn’t fool enough to think differently. He had been like my shadow, the one person I could rely on. My knight in shining armour...or worn leather anyway. Not that he had worn his cut, but sometimes I had seen him touch it with a look of pain on his face.
He had given up so much when he had taken me to safety. Much, much more than I had.
I knew I had no right to ask him for anything else, that he had given up almost a year of his life for me. I had given nothing in return, and after seeing him with his hand on another woman’s thigh, I knew deep down that I couldn’t stay here.
We may have a platonic friendship, but the wave of jealousy I felt wasn’t the way platonic friends should feel. I couldn’t ask him not to be with other women just because I thought I had some kind of ownership over him.
“Everything ok?”
I had been so engrossed in my own head that I hadn’t even realised that Cali was standing in the bedroom doorway.
Peeling my eyes from Bobby’s sleeping face, I turned to her, plastering my face with a smile. “Yeah, I just like watching him sleep, that’s all. Gent always tells me that I should be resting when he is…” I cut myself off. My lips snapped shut.
“I’m glad he was there to look out for you. You guys got close, I take it?” She was keeping her voice low, like she didn’t want to wake anyone. “I saw the way you reacted when the club girl...” She shrugged.
“Nothing romantic has ever happened between us. So my reaction was silly, right? I have no right to feel jealous.” I scrubbed at my face with my hands. Jesus, why was this so hard?
“Oh, sweet girl.” Cali’s arms were suddenly around my shoulders, pulling me in tight against her soft body. “You have every right. You can’t help how you feel.”
Hiccuping, I patted her back. “I think it’s just because I’m not used to him not being here. Gent sees me as a sister.”
Avery was suddenly there, her arms going around both of us. “Yeah, we have all heard that line before Gem. That’s what Wicked used to say about Chelsea. If you have feelings for that man, you need to tell him. What have you got to lose?”
I laughed, the sound making the baby stir in his cot. “I don’t know my dignity? But come on, let’s go and talk in the living room.” Untangling myself from their arms, I grinned. “I want to hear all the juicy gossip from you guys. Let me live through you.”
***
The one night Bobby slept through, and I hadn’t gotten a wink. I had just laid there, staring up at the ceiling in the dark and listening to my friends’ soft snores coming from the next room. I was almost glad when I heard Bobby start to stir. At least it gave me an excuse to get off the bed and do something that wasn’t dwelling on whether I had romantic feelings for Gent or not. Those thoughts were getting me nowhere.
He wasn’t interested. The sooner I came to terms with that, the better. Our pretend little family life was over.
“Morning.”
Maybe I was overly cheery for such an early hour as both Avery and Cali scowled. Cali was rubbing at her back like it hurt her, and I felt a pang of guilt. I should have given her my bed to sleep in or demanded she go home to Truth. She was pregnant, after all.
“What time is it?” Avery was already on her feet, no doubt going on a coffee hunt.
“A little after five.” I bounced my son in my arms. He would want to feed soon, and he was more than willing to let everyone know if I was late with his breakfast.
Cali made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat, and I didn’t even try to hide my smile. She was going to have a baby of her own soon. She might not like early mornings now, but she would have to get used to them. And quickly.
“There’s no coffee...” I called out after Avery. I could hear her slamming cupboard doors in her search for the life-giving substance known as caffeine. “There’s nothing. Shopping is the first thing on my list.” Or at least it would be if I actually had any money to do the grocery shopping. There were so many little things that I had grown accustomed to Gent taking care of. Now he wasn’t here. I wasn’t even sure I would manage to do simple things like put food on the table.
Something must have shown on my face because Avery paused. “I’ll talk to Ruin; he will-”
I cut her off. I knew what she was going to say. That Ruin would look after me, support Bobby and me until I got myself back on my feet. “No, I will work something out.” I wasn’t sure how but I would.
I had lived off other people for too long already.
