Page 27 of Sweet Surrender
“You’re not going to, man. I don’t think every woman is like her just because they like sex and like it in different ways. How old is she?”
“Thirty-two.”
“I see where you’re coming from. Jessica wasn’t no joke either.”
“No, she wasn’t. I just don’t want her to be hypersexual like Jessica’s ass was, and I find out that I’m not enough for her by learning that she’s cheating on me.”
My ex-wife had mental health issues, and I stood by her side for years. Giving in to her sexual whims was never enough. She resorted to cheating, and when that wasn’t enough, she joined anescort service. I didn’t learn about that shit until I found some paperwork in her car one day after I took it to be detailed.
That was when everything exploded. All the vows went out the window. I prayed for her and wished her well.
“Have you told Alex how you feel?”
“No. I didn’t want to have that conversation and relive all that shit, and I didn’t want her to feel self-conscious and insecure.”
“Would she have a reason to?”
“Hell yeah. Issachar fucked her mind up the first time around. He told her that she was emotionally distant, cold, and some other things. I’ve tried to dispel those thoughts that he planted in her mind because of his insecurity. I don’t want to reinforce that.”
“And you don’t have to. Just tell her about all that you went through with Jessica and then point out how her behavior is reminiscent of that time in your life. You can have the conversation or just walk.
“Whatever you do, don’t ignore the red flags. If you do, you could have another several years of regret. Trust your gut and have the conversation, because it could be a misunderstanding.”
“You’re right.”
I pulled out my phone and texted with one hand, while holding my pizza with the other.
ME:I need to talk to you.
ALEX:I’m about to get clean and slip into something comfortable. You’re welcome to comewith me.
Here we go again. I sighed and fingered my phone for several seconds before I replied.
ME:Hanging with my boy tonight. Sorry. I can meet you for lunch tomorrow if that’s okay.
ALEX:Sure. Can’t wait to see you.
“You good?” Gabriel asked, looking over at me after I sighed again.
“Yeah. The game’s starting; let’s get into it,” I replied, giving a little clap and rubbing my hands together vigorously.
I had to push the ache in my chest away. I couldn’t worry about that tonight. As much as I wanted Alex to be mine, I had to trust that His will would be done.
