Page 13 of Touching Oblivion
“You know what I mean.” I wave off Oswald’s outrage at my slipup.
“I do not wear panties,” he mumbles under his breath.
Memphis finally walks over and takes the seat beside me. As hard as I try not to, I can still see him out of the corner of my eye, and I’m pretty sure he notices when I stiffen a little. It’s not intentional.
“I just don’t see what she would have to gain from pretending.”
“She gets this.” Oswald gestures between the two of us.
“She doesn’t know me, Oswald.”
“I told her about you. KJ was running his mouth about me staying with my brother, and I told him I’d been staying with my girl.” My heart starts to pound, but Oswald continues, unknowing that he just made my heart flutter. “They made the assumption you were mad at me and that was why I was home on a Saturday after a win. I got defensive, which was like blood in the water, and the next thing I know, she’s in my lap, telling me she fell. I had no idea her friend took the picture until the next morning. That’s the honest-to-God truth.” Oswald raises his hands as if to swear to it.
It’s hard not to believe him when he’s so adamant, and there’s also the fact that I want to believe him, but does any of it matter when it comes down to it? I don’t think I could deal with the sharing thing they seem keen on. I’m already too emotionally invested, and this proves it.
But how do I tell him that without them trying to convince me I could handle it? I’ve already proven I don’t have any willpower when it comes to them, and I’m still mad at Memphis, plus there’s also my big secret between us. I have no clue what to say or do. I wish we could just go back to how it was, when I was naïve and hopeful.
“We can go talk to KJ,” Oswald continues when I don’t respond to his vow.
“We don’t need to do that.” I shake my head.
“You believe me?” He leans forward, sounding much more hopeful.
“Oswald,” I say softly.
He jumps up before I can say any more. “I’m telling the truth. Come on, KJ will tell you what happened, or I will beat it out of him.”
I stand and grab his arm. “No, it’s fine. I really don’t have the right to be upset, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t.” I pull my hand back slowly. Touching him, even his arm, isn’t a good idea.
“Why wouldn’t you have the right to be upset?” Memphis asks, and I turn my head to look at him on instinct but quickly avert my gaze. I feel like he can see through me. “Waylynn,” he prompts when I don’t answer right away.
“You know why,” I say with too much intensity.
“No, I really don’t,” Memphis retorts.
“Oswald kissed me, then you kissed me,” I blurt. It’s not like it was a secret.
Oswald opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but he just lets out a heavy breath, then furrows his brows in confusion.
Memphis catches on much quicker. “You don’t want to share.”
I clench my back teeth as hard as I can, feeling shame and the sting of anxiety making the backs of my hands feel tingly. I nod once briskly. This will be it. Now they know I can’t be what they want, and as much as I hate it, there’s also a sense of relief that comes along with the awareness, or maybe it’s just knowing I don’t have to tell them my secret before they walk away. It will be so much easier this way.
Oswald drops back into his chair. “What?” He’s looking at me in total disbelief. “You like us both,” he says as if that’s not already obvious.
Memphis fills in the blanks. “No, she doesn’t want toshare us.”
I’m not going to deny it, even if it makes me a hypocrite. I can at least admit that much. “Sorry if I misled you. I just… Yeah, sorry.” I take a step to the right, intending to pass Memphis and get back to the door. My ears are on fire, and I can feel heat spreading up my neck, but he stands up and blocks my path.
“We’re not asking you to,” he whispers. My skin even reacts to his tone, and I get goose bumps on the backs of my arms.
“Please don’t tell me I can do this.” I close my eyes. If he even puts the slightest demand into his words, I’ll listen to him, even if it’s only until I can get out of here, and my heart will break in the process.
Memphis
“Please don’t tellme I can do this.” Waylynn is standing in front of me with her eyes closed, and I’m warring with everything inside myself not to command her to look at me so I can tell her we want her and no one else.
When her eyes finally open at my silence, I ask, “Why would Oz be apologizing and trying to explain if he wanted to be with her too?” I’m trying to let her come to the right conclusion without putting too much at her feet. I feel like she’s a scared rabbit right now and any wrong word will have her bolting again.
