Page 67 of Beautiful Deceit
"I know Sweets. I wish I was inside you so I could feel you trembling around me." We are so tightly meshed together. Beau pushes up with his forearm next to my shoulder and looks down at my body, and his mouth falls open as he exhales.
"Soon baby," he promises. I'm not sure if he means soon he'll be inside me or soon I'll come.
Holding himself up with one hand, he uses the other to pull my nightgown down, exposing my full breasts. His fingers graze my nipple, and he uses his thumb on the tightened peak. I feel like a fire has been ignited in my lower belly. His name leaves my lips like a chant over and over. He pinches my nipple. The sting causes me to cry out his name in one long trill.
Beau drops his weight onto me.
He shutters and groans. I feel the warm wetness of his come between our bodies, on my upper thigh. I think, what a waste. I want him to do that while inside of me.
Beau chucks low, "I can't believe I just shamed myself on your thigh like a thirteen-year-old from watching you come." My brow furrows. I know it's not the same as making love, but did he not enjoy that? My brazen behavior that I was so comfortable with a few minutes ago now feels too much. My inexperience is making me feel naive now, because I thought it was amazing. My first instinct is to apologize, but I roll my lips together to stop myself.
I question in a small voice while his head is still tucked into my neck. "You didn't like it?"
He stiffens over me, "What?" He asks when he pulls back enough to see my face.
I feel my face burn with embarrassment, and I don’t meet his eyes when I ask, "It wasn't good enough to make you...you know, come?" The last word comes out like a whisper. He laughs, and I feel it in my whole body.
I go rigid with mortification. He's laughing at me.
"Hey!" Beau challenges and grabs my chin. My eyes focus on his vibrant green irises. His brow is drawn. "Did you not hear me?" He asks, staring intently at me.
I clear my throat before answering, "No, I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I said," he draws out the word, "Are you kidding? Of course it felt amazing. I just thought I had better control than that. What did you think I meant?"
It hits me then that maybe I’m not the only one that has insecurities. “Oh, well I just thought...I guess I thought you were laughing at me."
"Why the fuck would you think I was laughing at you?"
I try to shrug it off, "I know I'm pretty inexperienced with this." I wave at our still intertwined bodies, "Not to mention, I was planning on talking out a few things with you before I let things go any further." I give him a chastising look, easily putting all blame on him, "You keep looking at me like that, touching me.” I pull his hand back to my breast, “I forget everything."
"Me?" He asks indignantly, "You're the one sitting over there all curled up and looking sexy.” He squeezes my breast and I sigh, “I just wanted a taste and then you made that little noise that makes me fucking crazy. It's totally your fault for being so damn tempting." He huffs with no real heat.
Something inside me softens at his playfulness.
Beaus face grows serious, "Sammy, I'd never laugh at you like that or do anything but cherish the fact that I'll be the one showing you what pleasure really is."
My walls crumble, and he burrows deeper into my heart, securing a spot so large I'm not sure I'll be the same person when he walks away. I smile to fight the emotions overtaking me. I reach my arms around his broad back and pull him down to me, nuzzling his neck with my nose and lips.
"I love your neck," I sigh with one final peck.
He rolls to the side, taking me with him, "Let’s go back to sleep." He yawns and tucks my head into his shoulder with one arm and covers his eyes with the other.
He must be used to sleeping in a much darker room.
"I need to get up or I'll be useless all day." I say while I cuddle closer.
"Then it's settled. We'll stay in bed all day." He adds sounding pleased with himself.
Chapter 19
Even though he's warm and I'm unreasonably comfortable, I still can't sleep. I don't think he's sleeping either, but both of us remain quiet. The newness of feeling him next to me, of wanting to be next to him is exhilarating. I give in to the feelings of the closeness and comfort I feel in his embrace.
A long moment later, Beau pulls in a deep breath and starts talking. “I was relieved when I found her cheating on me. I thought I could still take care of our child, but I had a good reason to walk away. We fought like crazy about the stupidest shit.” Laying next to me I feel him shake his head against the pillows, “She wanted complete control of our image, and she has this unrealistic expectation of perfection. She thought that if we didn’t come off as this idealistic couple we would fall out of the limelight, and she wouldn’t get another big job.”
I run my hand over his side, grateful he’s talking, but having a little bit of a hard time listening to him talk about past relationships, especially painful ones.
“I just wanted away from her, but she kept trying to get me to stay. I finally told her I was going to try for full custody." He's quiet for a few seconds, and I let him collect his thoughts. I can tell he’s nowhere near done.
