Page 32 of Beautiful Deceit
"He's coming now George," with that I turn my back to the only man who's touch leaves me wanting more. I'm a coward. I'll chose my comfortable lonely life over this any day. I hear quiet murmurs for a brief moment then the door opens and shuts, the locks engaging.
I blow out a long breath and let my head fall forward leaning my hands on the table. God, that was hard. How can I feel like this over a man I barely know? I'm pathetic.
"Sammy."
I scream when Beau says my name suddenly in a low tone.
"What the fuck?" I shout and spin around seeing him standing at the top of the stairs. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? How are you still here?"
A small smile lifts his lips, "I pleaded my case with George. Never underestimate a fellow man’s sympathy for being in the dog house."
"Traitor!" I say indignantly. “Beau, what are you doing here?" I can hear the defeat in my own voice.
"I can't seem to stay away." He answers quickly.
Well that's not was I was expecting, "Oh, you seem to do fine at staying away. As long as it works for you, right? I mean why not, you come and go at your leisure anyway." Sarcasm is dripping with my every word.
"Sam, I don't want you to be mad at me. I didn't come here to fight with you." He says pleadingly.
"Are you kidding? I am mad at you." I growl, "You are so confusing! First, you make a big deal of finding out my story, then when I tell you, you disappear.” I look pointedly at him, “Thanks for that by the way, now I know to keep shit simple and give people the answers they want or expect; no one wants the real garbage. I'm glad I hashed that shit out for nothing.” I scoff, but continue my rant, “Then you come back and act like I'm the one doing something wrong, when I'm not at your beck and call.” I wave my hand that is currently holding a trash bag, at him. It’s appropriate really. “Oh, and let's not forget you never even apologized for the shit you said to me,” I hold my hands into a mock dreaming pose, “Every girl just loves to hear how the only reason someone would dare take them out, was because their abuser put them up to it.” I spit out my final sentences, “Have I gotten it right so far?"
In the span of my rant, I've closed the distance between us. I don't think he's moved once. Beau continues to stand there, taking all the poison I spew at him, and that pisses me off too.
"Let’s not stop now. Then I let you back in. No explanation, no apology, I never even asked for one." I laugh at how naïve I was being, but there's no humor in it. "Let’s stop now before you can bail again.” I hold my hand up when he opens his mouth to speak, “I was honest with you, but because I wouldn't let you in my pants, you left. That about sums it up, right Beau?"
"That make you feel better?" He asks me calmly.
"No!" I yell back, but he doesn't flinch.
"Well now you're going to listen," it wasn't a question. "I fucked up---repeatedly. I’m still fucking this up. I can't give you an explanation for all that shit, and frankly, would it matter?” His hands fly up, “There's no reason that is good enough to excuse the way I acted." His hand snakes out to grab my hip, pulling me closer. We're only separated by inches now.
His voice lowers, "I didn't leave because you didn't want to be my booty call. I ran because I didn't want that either, and that scared the shit out of me." He moves us closer. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. I'm helpless to stop it. "I ran because that seems to be the only thing I'm good at lately." His fingers run through my hair while his thumb caresses my bottom lip.
There’s a moment where we both just stare into each other’s eyes. His eyes burn and a familiar tension tightens my body. His hand glides down my cheek, to my neck and around to my nape. The fingers still drifting as he pushes his other hand further up into my hair and tugs down slightly. Something happens in my body, like it has been waiting to experience that sensation my entire life, because it knows exactly what to do. My back arches, pushing my large breasts against his firm chest. A long, hot exhale leaves my open mouth. I think he meant the gesture as comfort, but it has lit a match inside me.
Beau bends down to place his mouth to my ear, "I'm done running, Sammy." My knees go weak. My body dips, and Beau's hand reaches for my ass, intent on stabilizing me. He groans as he holds me.
I lean my head into his neck, nodding my acceptance against him. I swallow, my mouth dry.
I turn my nose, just barely grazing his neck. I pull a deep breath in, surrounding myself in his scent. I tilt my head, further allowing my lips to touch his warm skin. It’s heaven. I can feel the light stubble under his jaw ghosting across my lips. My tongue peeks out to just barely taste the column of his throat.
Beau's breathing is hard. He lifts his chin, giving me better access. I lay tiny open mouth kisses on every inch I can reach. I lift up on my toes to grab the back of his neck with one hand and his hair in the other. My lips reach higher to the sensitive skin behind his ear.
His hand on my ass jerks me forward as I bite the bottom of his ear lobe.
"Christ," he barks.
"I'm sorry," I murmur near his ear, before using my tongue on the same spot to soften my bite. He jerks my hair hard.
My eyes close, rolling back.
"Oh," I sigh having an aha moment. The sting is lovely; he didn't curse from pain.
"I want your mouth, Sammy." My eyes remain close.
I'm lost in euphoria, but I manage a, "Yes, yes---thank you." Beau runs his nose up my neck and over my check.
"Sweet Sammy, I need a taste," His lips brush mine once, then he pulls away. I lick my lips trying to catch more of him.
