Page 24 of Beautiful Deceit
"Well I can't say he's not part of it. Being around him helped me decide it's worth looking for more."
She nods slowly, "So are you seeing him?" I see, this is what she really wanted to know.
"Anna let me ask you something.” She nods, “If you thought I was, would you still have acted the way you did?" Her head drops, and her eyes point down to the desk. She breathes deeply then looks up at me, with a serious expression.
"Sam, you have always been honest with me, sometimes brutally, so I'll return the favor." She holds my gaze, "Yes. He seems like the kind of guy that's worth fighting over."
Wow, that's not what I was expecting.
"You don't even know him. How could you know he'd be worth the fight?" I am curious, but I'm also hurt and a little pissed that my employee would do that to a man I would theoretically be dating.
"Did you see him Sam?” she sounds like the answer is obvious. “The jeans he was wearing so well, cost over two-hundred dollars. His boots were closer to a thousand." She smiles, "I see something I want. I go after it."
No apology, just honesty.
I realize I'd never really have a chance with a man like Beau. What man would want a size fourteen pretty girl when he could have a stunning size two?
"Thanks for your honesty Anna."
"So?" She prompts.
"So nothing. You just told me my answer doesn't matter." She frowns, but nods.
"Just so we're clear Anna. I've promised him that you won't make him uncomfortable if he returns. So please respect my store and leave him be---while you're working." Her face screws up into a scowl.
"Uncomfortable?" She scoffs
"Yes Anna, uncomfortable. Is that going to be a problem?"
"No, no," she waves her hand around but looks distant.
I have a feeling that the first chance she gets, she'll pounce. Looks like I might have two positions available after all.
"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow." She stands and leaves without me saying anything else.
I reflect on our conversation.
I haven't seen Beau in over a week, so I don't think I need to worry about replacing Anna just yet.
I've wondered a couple times if I shouldn't have told him all that stuff, but there's nothing I can do now. I don't regret it. It felt good to tell someone.
Feeling a little let down, I call applicants and set up interviews for Wednesday.
I leave shortly after.
Instead of going straight home, I decide to walk. I submerge myself in the anonymity of the mobs of people going in a similar direction. I window shop and watch street performers enthrall tourists and locals alike. None of it helps to energize me like I'd hoped it would.
I head home sometime after eight with little desire to return and sit alone behind the cushy walls I've built around myself.
Another week passes. I have a new employee and one new partner in the works. My business is doing well. My personal life is just as dreary.
I don't know who's more disappointed by Beau’s disappearance, Anna or me. She comes in everyday looking like she just got back from a photo shoot.
Yesterday she finally broke down and asked if I'd heard from him. I didn't answer. She doesn't need to know I'm pining just as bad as her, but I'm pretty sure she does know I haven't seen him either. It's strange to miss someone I barely even knew.
I decide to test a theory, to see if I'll be as comfortable with any man as I was with Beau.
Jess has a friend she's been bugging me to go out with for months. I finally accept her request. He's picking me up at the store, instead of my studio, Friday at five. I'm not expecting much, but I want to know that I can be with other men and feel just as safe as I did with Beau.
