Page 23 of Beautiful Deceit
"Have you started the book?" I blurt out. Beau’s brow furrows, like he's confused, but then his eyes go wide. His lips tip into a half smile, the left side raises, and a dimple makes an appearance.
"I did. Almost done in fact. I'm curious though sweet Sammy---are all the books you read so dirty?"
I falter when he calls me sweet, "Ahh---." I stammer, "Sa---some are---others---it's just implied sex scenes. I mean that doesn't give so many details.” I try and correct my statement, but it gets worse, “Some have more---it just depends on---the authors and the genre really." I smile sweetly at him to hide the awkwardness I am currently feeling. I decide to turn the tables, and feel a bit confident with saying, "I could give you some recommendations.” I have had to have this conversation before with grandmas, men, women, and everyone in between. It comes like reading from a script, “Are looking for something with a little more detail, perhaps a little more vanilla, or is there a certain kink you have in mind? Male on male?"
Beau's mouth drops open, he points at me.
"You're kinda naughty. I've heard about you sexy librarian types. I better watch out for my virtue." He moves his hand up to his chest, his expression scandalized.
I wish I had a pair of horned rimmed glasses to adjust.
Very seriously I say, "Kind Sir, I was just trying to cater to your needs." This is fun. I feel sexy in a way that I don’t get to be often. I break out in a fit of giggles ruining the illusion.
He shakes his head back and forth, eyes smoldering. "You think you're funny huh? I'll get you back for that, just wait." His phones rings, the lightness from our banter evaporates along with his smile. He pulls a black iPhone from his back pocket and looks at the screen. Beau rolls his head back. His Adam's apple bobs. I’m distracted by my sudden desire to trace the movement with my tongue. I pale at the thought. I have a serious problem.
His expression turns a little sad and defeated. I right my eyes, feeling bad for ogling him when he's obviously upset.
"I need to go," he sounds regretful.
"Oh yeah, sure, it's getting pretty late." I look at the clock I hadn't cared about just thirty seconds ago. "Do you need a cab?"
He won't look at me, and my chest constricts, "No, thank you." His voice sounds completely different, like he's dismissing me.
I don't say anything further but move to the door and open it. I hadn't even realized I didn't lock it. That’s odd for me.
“Bye," he says distractedly.
"Good night Beau," I say, my voice deflating. I'm not sure he even heard me. He's halfway down the stairs.
My house feels empty, in a way it never felt before. I spend the night avoiding that thought.
Sunday passes without incident.
Monday morning, I place a help wanted ad. I plan to leave right after Jude and I discuss the possibility of him becoming part owner in the coffee cart. He says he wants to talk to Mark but has a lot of great ideas.
“A little cafe, but not one that overshadows the store.” He moves his hand quickly pointing to places where we could expand. He looks at me pointedly as he states, “We still primarily sell books.”
After my talk with Jude, I tell Anna if there's nothing pressing, I'll be in Wednesday. She's still on her best behavior. She nods curtly in reply and busies herself with arranging the few things at the register.
Molly started Friday, and I was excited to learn that she’s happy to accept the extra weekend hours. I leave the help wanted ad posted, still hoping to find another sales clerk.
I spenda long weekend at home moping, if I am honest.
The following Monday finds me sorting through the small stack of applications on my desk and trying not to think about Beau.
Anna interrupts with a knock on the open door, "Sam can I talk to you for a minute? George just got here, he's watching the register."
I look up at this young beautiful woman that has yet to tire of my little shop, "Sure Anna, what's up?" I fold my hands on the desk giving her my full attention.
"Are you replacing me?" She sounds hurt by the thought. She runs her hands over her skirt, for the first time looking nervous.
"No Anna, why would you think that?”
“Just seems like you’ve been hiring a lot of new people. I’ve been here a year now, it’s become more than just a job, or just a distraction. I do love it here.”
I give her a small smile, “Well for me, it’s kind of the opposite. I've decided I want to do more than just own a store. There's a lot stuff to see out there. I want extra help so I can do just that."
She looks thoughtful for a second and asks, "Is it that guy, Beau?" She looks at her nails trying not to look overly interested.
