Page List

Font Size:

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure.”

“Laura, yes it’s for you. You don’t need to ask if there is something you need, hell—if there’s something you want, just take it, use it.” A thud sounds. I imagine Ollie letting his head thump on the door, he must think I’m being ridiculous.

“Okay.” My reply is soft, without conviction.

“Laura,” Ollie pauses, “at school today, you probably won’t see much of me, Dante, or Milo.” I halt, my hands freeze before turning on the faucet. Thoughts of last night in this very bathroom filter through my mind. There’s no doubting I do belong with them now, I’ve seen the evidence myself, but that doesn’t mean anything, nothing has changed. They’re still ashamed of me.

“Got it.” I force evenness into my tone. I’m not going to let him know their rejection hurts. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Turning the cold water on full blast, I look into the mirror. Still the same girl I saw yesterday in the community showers. Dull blonde hair, small nose, big eyes and lips. There’s a slight flush to my checks where the sting of embarrassment brightens my face. Ollie’s footsteps recede into the room. Using my fingers, I comb through my hair, forcing the lumps of snarls into submission as I pull it back, I know the loose ponytail I usually wear is out, it’s way too tangled for that. Sectioning it off into three parts, I tie it into a messy braid that falls over my shoulder because I haven’t mastered how to get it centered in the back when I’m doing it myself.

Peeking my head out the door, I find my clothes still heaped on the floor where Ares dropped them last night. Ollie steps forward and I notice he has a dark pair of sweatpants hung over his arm. “These will be too big, but it was all we could find. They are Dante’s from a few years ago.” I reach out to take the offering, wondering why they didn’t give them to me last night.

“Thanks,” I mutter, locking myself back in the bathroom. “Shit,” the curse fall from me when I remember I need my bra from the floor. I slide the pants on easily, they are incredibly soft on the inside against my skin. Ollie’s right, they are too big, but only the length. The gathered waist sits on the swell of my hips just fine. Poking my feet out the holes in the bottoms so I don’t step all over them, I open the door to find the room empty, and my clothes are gone from the floor. “Ollie,” I call out urgently, needing to catch him.

Dante enters the room instead, his hair still damp from a shower. I shuffle, feeling awkward standing before him in his pants, especially after last night. All he did was brush his hand over the back of my leg and I was putty.

“Did you need something?” he steps more into the room.

“My stuff that was on the floor is gone.”

Dante’s eyes crinkle. “It was dirty right? Do the sweats not work?” He eyes my legs.

“No, the pants are good, thank you by the way.” That stupid flush is back. “But my other stuff…” I let my words trail off. I don’t want to bring attention to the fact that I don’t have a bra or panties on.

“You can just wear Ares’s shirt until we get your stuff from Maggie’s, he won’t mind.” I cross my arms over my chest. My breasts aren’t huge, but I haven’t gone without a bra in years. Being bare in his pants is bad enough, but that’s easy enough to conceal, whereas the bra will be super obvious if anyone of them cared to notice. Lowering my head, I nod, not meeting his eyes. I’m not willing to tell him what I need, so I’ll deal with it until we get to the diner.

“Okay yeah that’s fine, but I need my stuff back. I’ll need to go to the laundromat today.”

“Ollie probably already gave them to Gloria. You can just bring back whatever you need, and she can take care of it for you.”

I glance at him from the side and a tightness rising in my throat. “Guess that’s something that happens a lot around here.” The words are uttered under my breath, but I know he has no problem hearing me.

“She’s been picking up after all of us for years.” Dante doesn’t flinch at my implication. He must not realize I’m talking specifically about girls’ clothes winding up in their laundry. It was only a few days ago I found the red panties in his little house across the driveway. My eyes narrow, I look down at the borrowed pants—are these really even his? If they gave me some random chick’s clothes to wear I’m going to be pissed.

“Dante,” Milo shouts from somewhere downstairs, his voice carrying up to us.

“We’re coming,” he answers on a yell. Dante turns his back and jogs over to a room down the hall. When he returns he has keys in his hand. “Ready?”

Looking at my bare feet I want to tell him no, that I need socks and my underwear, but I take a deep breath, and feeling completely unprepared for the day ahead of me, I nod anyway.

* * *

I don’t seeAres anywhere when the boys hustle me out if the side door where I left my shoes last night. Once we’re in the car, I take a few moments to cuff the bottom of my pants so I won’t have to keep holding them when I walk. If I thought no bra and panties were bad, it’s nothing compared to the way my bare feet feel inside my dirty old sneakers. I wiggle my toes for the hundredth time, feeling the small little piles of fabric balled together on the insole of the shoes, and the crispy fake leather rubbing on my heels.

Milo grabs my hand, stopping me from finishing rolling the sweats. “You don’t have socks on,” he announces like I didn’t already know that.

“I know.” I pull my hand free, covering my ankle.

“Why?”

I huff out a breath. “Ollie took my stuff to give to Gloria apparently,” I drone, and it’s clear I’m not happy.

Ollie turns to face me, a wince on his face. “I’m sorry Laura I didn’t even think about stuff like socks and...” His eyes dip to my chest and I cross my arms quickly, but not quick enough. “Shit.” He jerks back around in his seat, facing the front. “I’m really sorry Laura.” He turns back to look at me, keeping his eyes focused on mine. “Do you have socks… in your bag?” His drawn out question making it obvious he wasn’t only referring to socks.

Looking down at my lap my ears catch fire. “Yeah, it’s fine,” I answer softly. The rest of the ride to the diner is quiet and Dante watches me in the rearview mirror way more than is necessary, but I continue to stare out the window pretending not to notice. Dante pulls around the back of the Diner and honks his horn twice before jumping out. Gus pokes his gray head out the door, my bag gets extended in his arms as it is handed to Dante. He jumps back in the car, passing the heavy sack over the driver’s seat.

My mouth falls open, they aren’t letting me go in to change? “Here, now you’ll have socks,” Dante rattles off, already driving away. “You could have just asked one of us for socks.” He sounds slightly offended, like I did something wrong not asking him for socks.

Ignoring that I mutter, “I thought I’d be able to change there before school.” My eyes follow the sign for the restaurant as we speed away.