Page 56 of Don't Bite the Botanist
“How does what work?” Tressa asked cautiously as she took a spot at his side, mirroring his lean against the car.
He could see the hope in her eyes. Could see she wanted him to be asking about their future. About their relationship.
The relationship built on a crumbling foundation of lies.
“Becoming a vampire,” he snapped, disregarding the tiny bit of guilt that flared when she flinched at the venom in his voice. “How do you turn me or whatever.”
Tressa dropped her eyes and picked at her cuticles, making himwant to scream at her to stop. He wanted her to stop acting so fucking innocent and hurt and… adorable. He wanted her outsides to match her insides—evil and duplicitous. He wanted her to admit that she never gave a single flying fuck about him.
He wanted… to believe his own thoughts without that hint of reservation that crept in when she looked up at him, those wide brown eyes so very full of heartbreak. He was the one who should be heartbroken. Not her. She didn’t deserve to make him feel guilty when he was the one who had been lied to.
“It’s… well…” she stammered for a second before finally pulling herself together. “It’s not really that complicated. Every vampire has an essence inside of them. You might think of it as something like magic, I guess. It’s what keeps us alive forever and grants us our Gift.”
“Gift?” he asked stiffly, refusing to let her shy and demure act weaken his resolve.
“Yes,” she replied quietly. “Every vampire is blessed with a unique ability. Something specific to them. We call it Lilith’s Gift since Lilith bestowed the original Gift upon her daughter, Sura. The first vampire.”
He nodded, briefly remembering their earlier conversation about the origins of vamps. He still didn’t know that he believed all that angel/demon, heaven/hell nonsense, but if it meant he was going to get a superpower, then she could call it whatever she wanted. “Go on,” he prodded.
“So, basically you have to lose a lot of blood first. Sort of an empty vessel kind of situation. Oftentimes a vampire will feed on the human they intend to turn, making it a beautiful moment of sharing lifeforces.”
Panic raced down Ethan’s spine, and he jerked his head around to glare at Tressa. “Don’t youdare—”
“I won’t,” she said quickly, lifting a hand toward his face then dropping it back down to her side when he shifted away from her. “I know what you’ve been through, Ethan. I would never do that to you.”
When he huffed his acknowledgement, she continued. “Once you’re significantly weakened and on the brink of death, I’ll share my essence with you. After that…”
She went back to picking at her cuticles, and it was only then he realized how perfect her fingernails were despite the constant damage she inflicted.
Fast healing, he reminded himself. Another clue he’d been oblivious to simply because she had a pretty face and a laugh that lit up his idiotic heart like fireworks on New Year’s Eve.
“What?” he demanded, sensing there was more to it than a little magical mojo exchange.
Tucking her hands in her skirt pockets, she sighed. “After that, you die.”
He massaged his temples, wondering if vampires still got headaches. “Why do I have the feeling it’s not that simple?”
She shrugged. “If you think about it, dying is about as simple as it gets. One moment you’re alive, and the next you’re dead. Then the essence brings you back as a vampire.”
“So how exactly do I die?”
She shrugged again, and the simple action grated on his nerves. He absolutely didn’t want to deal with the perky princess, but this reserved creature who kept glancing at him with sad eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking was somehow worse.
“How do you want to die?” she asked. “Not many people get to choose how they go. Usually, it’s either a last second decision when a human has suffered a fatal wound and faces their forever death, or it’sa mutually agreed upon feed and turn between a vampire and their—”
He cocked an eyebrow when she cut herself off. “Still keeping secrets, Loloma?”
She spun her head around so fast he thought he heard something pop. “Don’t,” she barked, her eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and… shame? It was the first time she’d used a harsh tone with him, and he almost felt bad about saying the name that clearly bothered her. “Don’t ever call me that. That girl died a long time ago.”
“Fine,” he spat back. “Whatever. It’s not like I give a shit anymore. Keep all the secrets you want. It’s what you do best, isn’t it?”
“I’m not trying to keep things from you, Ethan,” she protested, the anger in her voice fading back to that soft, kicked puppy tone. “There are just certain things about being a vampire that are a longer discussion. If you would take a second and sit down with me, we can go over this in detail. Maybe we could—”
“Stop,” he said, holding up a hand. “I’m not interested. Let’s just get this over with. Kill me however you want. Just make it quick and painless.”
His analytical brain screamed at him once more to listen to her. To take the time to discuss every aspect before he made what might arguably be the biggest mistake of his life.
Except that was exactly why he was in a hurry. He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want tooverthinkit. His whole life was based on rationality, and look where that got him? Broken and alone.
