Page 2 of Blue Norther
Fear of adding to my pain. Fear of pushing me off the edge into the dark abyss biting at my ankles, threatening to pull me under.
He didn’t know there was no reason for that worry. Because I wasn’t going to be pushed.
I was going to jump.
“It’s not. I’m not. I’m broken. You shouldn’t have to put up with this.”
“Put up with what? Supporting you? Loving you? It’s the fucking honor of my life to get to do those things, Vi.”
“No. I can’t…I can’t breathe. The way you look at me, scared I might fracture and fall apart all day, every day. The way you stopped talking to my belly when I’m awake and only talked to it when you thought I was asleep. I need a break.”
“Then we’ll take a break. I’ll call the clinic right now and tell them we’re taking a few cycles off. They’ll understand.”
“I don’t mean a break from IVF,” I whispered.
“What kind of break, then?” Colt asked.
I bit down on my bottom lip, hating the words that were about to come out of my mouth, but knowing the bitter taste of them would be worth swallowing down if it saved Colt from a lifetime of regret. “From here. From us.”
“From us? No. Absolutely not. We’ve been a team since we were twelve-years-old. We’re not…this is something we can work through. This is something we can survive.”
“It’s something you can survive, because I’m setting you free.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he growled, no real bite behind the words. “You want us to separate?”
“No, Colt. I want a divorce.”
Colt
TWO YEARS LATER…
I saw her the second I walked into the funeral home. She sat at the front, her blazing-red hair tied back with a black satin ribbon. My wife’s…myex-wife’s…shoulders were tight, her neck turned as she spoke to a woman who had paused at the end of the aisle.
Jennie Murphy had been like a second mom to me growing up. She loved me for who I was, and she loved me for loving her daughter. It broke my heart that the first place I was going to see Vi in the two years since our divorce was at her mother’s funeral.
Hell, I didn’t even know if I should come. If I was welcome. If I was wanted.
What if I saw her here with another man? Someone who her mother also approved of?
I shoved the nauseating thought down. It didn’t matter. Paying my last respects to a wonderful woman and checking on Violet, making sure she was okay, was the only thing that did.
“Colton Ford.”
I turned, Violet’s father walking along the back wall towards me. I checked to see if she’d heard him, but if she had, she didn’t turn to face me.
“Pete. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, son. I’m so grateful for the time we had together, and that the cancer took her quickly. She didn’t suffer like my mother did.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come say goodbye before now. I loved her.”
His hand landed on my shoulder. Although I was nearly half a foot taller than Violet’s dad, the sweet gesture of a father and widower comforting me like I was truly his son hit me square in the heart.
“Jennie knew how much you loved her. She loved you the same.” He dropped his gaze, looking across the church to his daughter. “Are you going to go talk to her?”
“I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. I want her to know I’m still here for her, that I want to make sure she’s alright. But if she doesn’t want to hear that from me…”
“She does. Sheneedsto hear it. Violet’s been working so hard, taking care of her mother. Taking care of me. She didn’t have time to heal before she was rushing to be with us after Jennie’s diagnosis. And she doesn’t know how I spend time each night down the hall, listening to her cry for you.”
