Page 32 of Great White
The cocoon of ice around my heart grows a little thicker.
Alone is safer. Alone is a shield. Alone protects me.
So alone I shall stay.
7
Tate
I have essentially becomeStefania’s bodyguard/booty call.
No more ice gopher. No more stocking beer. No more egotistical bartenders with attitude. The only place I go is where she goes. Or where she tells me to go.
I’m there for midday business meetings, sunrise yoga, and early morning coffee. The perks don’t suck. The pay either.
I sit at her kitchen island sipping on some exotic blend of coffee. The shit is delicious. The past few weeks with Stefania have opened my world to all kinds of high-end things. From food to shopping to caffeine.
“Bien?” She appears from the bathroom dressed only in a towel and long, wet hair.
“Delicioso.”
She smiles, pouring herself a cup. Leaning on the counter across from me, she drinks me in while steam billows from the brown liquid.
“What?” I ask, smirking.
“Why do you have to be so damn good-looking?”
I laugh. “Only the good Lord can answer that.”
“Mmm, He is a master.”
“You flatter me.”
“I only speak the truth.”
I stare down into my cup. A little pang of melancholy hits me in the heart like a drum pedal.
Stefania circles around the kitchen island, coming to lean her half-naked body against me. “What unusual creatures we are. Both our hearts belong to other people, yet our bodies are free to be together.”
I place my hand on her bare thigh, drinking in the beauty standing in front of me. “If I was a smarter man, I would steal your heart for myself.”
Stefania shakes her head. “He would never let you. Nor would I.”
We use each other to fill the time and the gaps in our lives. I’m a stand-in for the lover she can’t see. She, the stand-in for the lover I can’t have. It wasn’t planned. Not by me. She kissed me blindly. Unknowingly. She spoke to me through the embrace. I was unsure at first, but I resigned. The one I want doesn’t want me, so why let an opportunity pass me by?
Stefania presses her plump lips to mine. The connection is soft and sweet. But there’s no fire behind it. No spark or kindle. It’s desire mixed with only one element, physical attraction. It’s a relationship of pure convenience.
“I need to get dressed,Guapo. I’m meeting a potential buyer in an hour.”
Her use of Dove’s pet name feels awkward. I don’t know how you can feel like you’re betraying someone who was never yours. But it feels that way. Every second I’m with Stefania, I’m thinking about Dove.
“I’m here. Ready and waiting.”
Close to an hour later we pull up to a swanky restaurant in the heart of the city. I valet the truck and escort Stefania inside. I take a seat at the bar, while she is whisked away to a table situated on the second floor overlooking the Argentinian steakhouse.
I order a gin and tonic to nurse on, all the while keeping my eye on Stefania and the rest of the restaurant. For the most part, things are quiet, and from what I can tell, Stefania’s meeting is going well. Both she and the Asian buyer seem at ease, engaging in continual conversation.
When I do my fourteenth scan of the room, a man at the other end of the bar in a black suit jacket with salt-and-pepper hair catches my attention. We make eye contact, and he lifts his glass to me in greeting.
