Page 108 of Dangerously
“Deep fried pieces of heaven,” I explain, preoccupied. Then I look out the window. “Try one.” I push the box toward him as I escape from my seat and run out the door.
I slide a foot on the freshly fallen snow, stopping right in front of her.
Her.
She’s dressed in a long black coat with a thick fur collar. Her hair’s pulled to the side, and her cheeks are rosy from the highland cold. Something strange happens inside me, like gears start grinding. Like suddenly I’m a machine who was magically brought back to life.
“Hey, Dax.” Her soft voice is like a soothing Irish melody.
“Hey.” I just blink at her, unsure of what to say, but positive I don’t want her to go. I fantasized about this moment. Wished for it.Manifested it into existence.
I wanted to hate her, wanted to despise her, but I couldn’t. In the end, as painful as it was, I understood. But like the cursed man I am, I never, ever got over her. “What are you doing here?” Can I sound any more like a dope?
“Farrah and I decided to spend the holidays in Europe. She wanted to tour some colleges. I think she may have her heart set on Oxford.”
“England? I don’t remember that on her short list.”
“A lot of things have changed since that conversation.”
“That they have,” I agree, still finding it hard to believe she’s standing right in front of me. A materialized ghost of my past. We both fall silent. Caught in a floundering moment. Fallon is brave enough to speak next.
“Look, Dax.” She takes a deep breath, making this cute little expression by wrinkling her nose. I’ve never seen that one before. If I’m being honest, I’ve never seen Fallon look so comfortable or natural. Her whole demeanor seems different. Less hostile, more feminine, completely captivating. “I came here because we have some unfinished business. The way we left things. It has always bothered me.”
“I wasn’t fond of it either.”
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. In person. I want you to know that I mean it. I did love you. It wasn’t a lie. And I regret hurting you. Every day. I understand if you hate me. I deserve it.”
“Youdidlove me?” That’s about all I took away from that. It enrages me. “Was it love when you sent me away?Whenyoudecided our fate? Was it love when you rejected me?”
Fallon’s eyes widen, and her lip pouts. “I didn’t reject you. I didn’t fully understand how to love. It was fucked up. And I’m sorry. But I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Was it the right thing, Fallon?”
“For Farrah, yes. And that’s who was important at the time.”
“Not me? And not Aisling, huh?” I’m resentful.
“You were both important, too. I just needed to choose. I needed–"
“To be alone. Yeah, I know. The lone red wolf.”
“I don’t want to be her anymore.”
“Who do you want to be then?”
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out.” Fallon glances beside us to find half the pub spying on us through the front window. Buncha yokes.
“I think your fan club awaits.”If she’s looking for an out, I’m not going to give her one. She came all the way to Scotland to find me, well here I fucking am.
“They aren’t bothered with me. They’re all curious about the mysterious redheaded woman. So am I.”
“What are you curious about?” She bats her thick eyelashes.
“If youdid loveme or youdostilllove me?”
“Would it matter either way?”
“Probably not.”Lie. Lie. Lie.Now I’m just being a fucking moron to spite myself.
