Page 79 of Ache
Trauma?I’m unquestionably afflicted by that.
Alec is hooked up to all kinds of tubes and has an oxygen mask on. There is so much blood.So. Much. Blood.
I watch the heart rate monitor obsessively as Tage cleans off his hands.
“You’re going to be okay. You’re going to get through this,” I pray. I pray so fucking hard. Alec doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to lose his life.This is my fault. This is all my fault.“Alec, please. Fight.” Tears stream down my face like an angry river.
“He’s strong. He’ll fight.” Tage holds me close.
The ambulance ride is bumpy, but thankfully short. Three more silent prayers later, they are rolling him out of the back of the ambulance into the emergency room.
We can only follow him so far as doctors and nurses check his vitals and call out things completely foreign to me.
The operating room they wheel him into has a window so we can see almost everything that’s happening.
That thin piece of glass is the only thing keeping me on my feet. The only thing supporting my sluggish body.
I fall slowly to pieces as the minutes tick by and the surgeons work quickly tending to Alec.
Tage stands right next to me, watching in silence everything I am.
All the carnage.
I start to weep. The pressure finally taking its toll. Alec has become a permanent part of my heart.Without him, how will I live?
How will I survive?
Tage wraps his arm around me and kisses my head. He speaks softly to me, but I can’t comprehend a word he says. I can’t comprehend anything right now.
I can’t comprehend how someone as amazing as Alec is currently fighting for his life. Karma is fucking cruel.
“Andrews.” That same, deep timber from earlier startles me out of my internal breakdown.
“Commander Adams.” Tage stands at attention and salutes the man. He’s tall, broad, and imposing. Dressed exactly like CJ in those same black fatigues.
“Gunner’s in the wind. We’re putting together a task force. We need you to head it, son. You know him best. Know his patterns.”
“Yes, sir.” Tage takes a step forward, and I grab his arm.
“You can’t leave.” I nearly explode into a million pieces.
Both Tage and the Commander stare down at me, each for a different reason.
“Alec could die. You can’t leave me alone. I need you.” My plea is earnest.
This is what he promised me. That he wouldn’t abandon me again. That he would be here.Always.
Creases around Tage’s eyes appear. Oh, no. No, no, no. I know that look. I have had nightmares for years about that look.
“Don’t.” I shake my head insanely. “Don’t do it again.You promised.”
With that, Commander Adams steps away, giving us some space.
“As long as he’s out there, neither of us will ever have peace.” Tage’s response is sorrowful, but also full of vengeance.
“You promised me,” I desperately repeat. I can’t lose both of them. I just can’t.
“You will always be the most important thing in my life.” Tage traps my face and presses his lips to my forehead.
