Page 34 of Ache
This fucking woman and what she can do to me.
“Let’s go home.”
“Can’t we just sleep here?” she mumbles lazily.
“We could, but I don’t think my office floor is quite as comfortable as my bed.”
“Definitely not,” she agrees.
I kiss the tip of her nose as she hangs lifelessly in my arms.
“You’re so cute sometimes,” she mocks me.
“Shhh, don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.”
14
Everly
Idrag myself up the stairs of my apartment building close to ten p.m. It was another long, amazing week spent in Alec’s bed. For the first time in years, I’m happy. Genuinely, down-to-my-bones happy. I forgot what this feeling was like. I only truly had it one other time in my life. And after years of pursuing it, then running from it, then longing for it, I’ve finally found it again. In the most unexpected place with the most unexpected person. I finally feel like I’m moving forward and not just running on a hamster wheel.
He didn’t want me to leave. The memory makes me smile like a lovestruck fool. He begged me to stay, to spend one more night with him. And I wanted to, badly, but I had no clothes for work. And I’d never make it in on time if I had to stop at my apartment first. Our relationship is still so new, and there is that pesky rule of no fraternization. I’m walking a fine line being with Alec, as it is. I don’t want to go totally off the deep end so soon. I understand why Lara risks it, though. I now finally understand what being with Luke means to her.
Being with Alec is quickly becoming something just as precious to me.
There’s such a stupid tingle in my tummy. I’m falling in love. It’s happening fast and furiously and with reckless abandon. And all I’m certain of at this very moment is that what I want above all else is a life worth living.
I turn the corner in the stairwell once I reach my floor, and when I see Tage leaning against my front door, all the happy fluttering in my stomach turns to sinking stones.
Fucker. This is the very last thing I need.
I haven’t heard a peep from Tage since he invited himself to lunch. I could have stabbed him in the ear with a knife for the way he was acting. I don’t know what gets into him sometimes. He’s been an enigma since the moment I met him. He’s impossible to read, moody, standoffish, and totally secretive. The only time he was ever open with me was when I was locked away in my tower like fucking Rapunzel. That was the only time he ever felt real. The circumstances were royally fucked up, but nothing in my life had ever felt more palpable. More tangible. I trusted him with everything I had, and he turned on me the first chance he got. I hated him for years. I still sort of hate him. As much as I wish he would just disappear for good, he made it crystal clear that would never happen. Not while there was still breath left in his lungs.His words.What I don’t get is why? I’m stable, living on my own, have a job, an apartment, and an income. He did help with a few of those things, but I’m driving solely on my own now, so what the fuck gives?
Cut the damn cord already and let me live my fucking life. Maybe he’s the reason I’ve had such a hard time moving forward because he is the anchor to my past. He’s the part I didn’t want to let go of. He hindered me from discovering who I am, from flourishing into adulthood because the child inside me ached for him.
He broke my fucking heart, and in the same instance my fucking soul.
But I’ve been piecing it back together, little by little, year after year, and I finally feel like somewhat of a whole woman. Yes, a woman. No longer a girl. No longer a child. A woman who is standing her ground and making her mark. A woman who is no longer going to ache for a man who doesn’t want her. Who made his choice.
The time has finally come for me to make mine.
“Houdini makes yet another appearance.” I agitatedly pull my keys out to open the door.
Tage stands next to me silently, his head down, body language tense, blond, wavy hair long and wild. I insert the key and just as the lock clicks, he shoots his arm out to stop me from entering my apartment.
I stop short, irritated as hell. “What is your problem?”
“Are you in love with him?” he asks straightforwardly.
Seriously?
“What if I am? What does it matter to you?” I bite. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
“Youare my fucking business.” He looks up, his hair falling into his hard eyes.
“I’m not a child anymore, Tage. Just let me go. Give me peace,” my voice softens. I want to be free.
“I can’t.”
