Page 36 of Ache
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises. “You’re mine. I’m yours,” he heaves. “It’s always been that way.”
“Oh, God.” My limbs lock up, a climax is coming, and it’s going to be soul-shattering. “Tage,” I expel. “Tage, please.” He continues to punch his hips. I continue to claw at his back.
I can barely stand the buildup. I’m totally terrified of it.
Then it happens. He buries himself so deep I lose myself. I lose all concept of time and space and reality.
I come so hard I literally feel the rush of moisture saturate my inner thighs.
It’s one big giant mess, my climax, my emotions, my life.
Tage comes violently, his orgasm matching the intensity of mine. He roars through the moment, and I know every single thing he’s feeling.
A dynasty has fallen. Crashed. Burned. Disintegrated. And it’s our turn to rebuild in the aftermath.
15
Tage
I’m an asshole and I know it.
I, also, don’t fucking care.
The only thing that matters at all is that Everly is back in her rightful place—in my arms. Naked, sated, and secure against my heated body.
She’s sleeping soundlessly, her head resting upon my bare chest.
I run my fingers through her tangled hair, planning my thought process so I’m prepared when she wakes.
I went about it all wrong. The whole damn thing. The time. The place. The way. I ambushed her, but I felt backed into a corner. For eight damn years, I drowned in the taste of her innocence. I dreamt about what it felt like to lay beside her. She was my glimmer in the darkness, and I wanted it all back. Her taste, her touch, her virtue, her devotion.
She was slipping through my fingers, so I acted. There was no way in hell I was going to lose her again. Not a chance I was going to give her up again.
I thought I was doing the right thing all those years ago. I thought setting her free would liberate us both, but all it did was bind us together in an unbearable way.
I never wanted to condemn Everly by allowing her to love me. My situation is complicated. My life is nomadic. My career is dangerous. And my heart is split between love and risk.
But this, right here, right now, I can’t give up. I tighten my arm around her.
There’s a saying I once came across about the sun loving the moon so much he died every night just so she could breathe. That’s the only way I can compare the last eight years, I died every day so Everly could live. The only problem was she didn’t live. She died of heartbreak every fucking day, and it was all because of me. It was all my fault. I was a fool, but not anymore.
I wanted better for Everly. I wanted more. More than what I thought I could offer her, but now I see, no one can offer her more because all she’s ever wanted was me.Mylove. So I plan to give it to her. Hand it over in spades so every day she can live and every night she can breathe.
16
Everly
Iam officially fucked up.
I open my eyes to sunlight and the profile of a sleeping man. As I look at Tage, the events of the last night creep in like a living nightmare.
I should feel happy. I should be ecstatic that the man I have ached for the last eight years has let me back in, but I’m not. I’m a fucking mess, because my heart is filled with love for someone else just as much as it is filled with love for Tage.
The biggest problem with loving Tage is that it comes with strings attached. It comes with no guarantee. He has drifted in and out of my life for so long it’s hard to decipher if he’s even real. Hard to believe if his intentions are sincere. Truth be told, I don’t know the man I went to bed with last night. I only know the memory of who he was when we were together. That’s who I cling to. He looks the same, he speaks the same, he makes love the same, but is he the same? Is that person I fell madly in love with years ago still inside? Is he sleeping next to me now? There’s too many questions to ponder before coffee. Before I’m even fully awake.
And on top of it all, there’s Alec.
The guilt begins to eat me alive. I care about him.A lot.I know what heartbreak feels like, and I would never wish it on another human being, especially one, dare I say, I might love. Maybe I was better off alone? Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. Solitude is safe.
