Page 108 of Moto
“I know I can.” Kayla takes Sam’s hands. “But who I really need to talk to right now is Reese.” She pleads with her eyes.
They communicate silently, Sam surrendering to Kayla’s request.
“Tomorrow,” Sam stipulates sternly. “I get you all day. No ifs, ands, or buts. I’m taking the day off work, and we’re going to talk. About everything.”
“Yes, everything.” Kayla places her hand on her stomach, and Sam’s face falls.
“A baby?”
Kayla nods slightly. “Jesus, child, you drive me crazy.” Sam pulls Kayla into her arms and locks her in a death grip.
“I don’t mean to, I swear,” Kayla hugs her back tightly. Like she’s her only lifeline.
Sam vacates the house the same way she entered it. Commandingly and authoritatively.
Once she’s gone, all that’s left is me, Kayla, and a steaming shitload of unresolved issues.
I stare blankly at Kayla, unsure what to say next. I just keep replaying the minister’s words in my head.“The vows you take this morning cannot be broken with impunity. Your connection is as strong as the thread that sews you together. What is the material made of? String? Wire? Steel? Only the two of you can decide.”
Whatisour material made of? Is it strong like steel or fragile like string?
I’m afraid to ask, terrified it’s as breakable as a fraying piece of string. Terrified I’m going to hear the words I dread. That it’s over, she’s leaving, and taking our child with her.
That in the end, I’m going to die, pitiful and alone.
“How long have you known?” Kayla breaks the silence, distraught.
“I found out when I was twenty-two.” I clear my throat uncomfortably. This is difficult to talk about. Especially with so much on the line. “I started getting tired really easily at first. Then the fainting spells started. I passed out on the track right in the middle of a race. Skidded across the pavement, took out a half of dozen racers, and then slammed into a tyre wall. You can watch it on YouTube if you want.”
“No, thanks.” She doesn’t even entertain the idea.
“Anyway, they had to take me out on a stretcher. Luckily, it was just brushed off as a routine rider error, but I knew the truth. Something was seriously wrong. So I went to Dev. He had just started medical school. We agreed, as a precaution, I would use his name to see a private doctor. After I received the diagnosis, it all snowballed from there.”
“Eight years? You have been abusing your heart for eight years?” She expels an anguished breath.
“Racing was my life. I couldn’t give it up. No matter what. No matter how sick I got. I would have rather died on a race track than anyplace else.”
“I kinda got that.”
“I know you’re upset.”
“I don’t think upset really covers it,” she responds callously.
All my defenses go up. “Are you going to leave me, Kayla?” I brace myself before blurting out my worst fear. Why prolong the inevitable? I’d rather just rip the bandage off right here right now, so I know what I’m up against.
“Is that what you want, Reese?”
“No.” I look her dead in the eye. “Why would you even ask that?”
“Because you set our relationship up for failure. You lied to me from the moment we met,” her voice elevates.
“Don’t take it personally. I lie to everyone. My entire existence is a universe of lies. I’ve been running from my past and my future for as long as I can remember.” I seize her arms. “You’re the only thing that makes me want to stop running.”
“How are you going to do that?” she challenges. “Are you going to walk away from everything you know? Stop racing? Live a quiet, normal life?” She’s skeptical, and she has every right to be.
“Quiet and normal? No, that’s not me.” I smile sadly. “But I’m willing to look for adventure someplace else. With you. The two of you.” I splay my hand over her stomach.
“Don’t get my hopes up, Reese.” She grips my wrist. “If you don’t want this, if there is any doubt . . . don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She’s deadly serious.
