Page 106 of Moto
“He’s suicidal,” I argue.
“It’s his life. His decision.”
“Do you hear what you’re saying? It’s insanity.” I gape.
“It’s something we agreed on a long time ago. Then you came along and changed everything.” He traps my chin.
“You both deceived me,” I whisper in anger.
“I know we did. We shouldn’t have lied. And I never should have walked away.” He tilts my face up. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I can’t say it enough.”
“An apology doesn’t fix anything.”
“I know.” He presses his forehead to mine. “But I’m going try anyway . . . I’m sorry you got caught up in the middle of this. I’m sorry I turned my back on you.On us.I should have fought harder for you, but we can fix it.” He inches his mouth closer. “You don’t have to stay with him, butterfly.” He touches his lips to mine. Softly at first and then with more urgency. For a moment, I allow it because I’m upset and confused, and I miss him. But it isn’t right. Everything is different now. The whole situation, my life.
“Dev.” I break the kiss. “We can’t.” I fist his shirt.
“Yes, we can.” He moves in to embrace me again, but I turn my head, aching inside. “Kayla,” he begs, keeping me close. “I’m the one you’re supposed to be with. Reese will never love you the way I do. Deep down, you know I’m right.”
I die a little inside. Dev is right. Reese will never love me the way he does, but Reesedoeslove me, and I do love him.
We made a commitment. And I can’t turn a blind eye to that.
“I can’t just walk away from him.”
“Yes, you can.” He grabs my face, turning it so I’m forced to look straight into his searing blue gaze. “Get an annulment.”
“I’m pregnant.” I deliver the devastating blow.
All the hope in Dev’s eyes extinguishes. “It’s definitely his?”
“It is,” I confirm.
“Shit, Kayla.” Dev stumbles back placing an ocean between us. He leans against the wall, immediately withdrawn and suddenly a stranger. “I guess the ball is in your court, baby.”
That statement does nothing to make me feel better. What does he even mean? It’s my decision to choose between him and Reese? If there ever was a choice, there isn’t now. Reese is my husband, and the only thing that is going to change that is ‘till death do us part.’
“I’m sorry I came.” I retreat to the door in turmoil.
“I’m not. I love you no matter what.” His heartbreak evident.
His words are like a goddamn knife twisting in my gut.
I glance at Dev one last time. The image of him leaning against the wall with soul-crushing despair will forever be branded into my brain.
I slink out the door, clutching my abdomen. How did I get here? This morning, I woke up happy, and now, everything is falling apart.
I climb into my truck and rest my head on the steering wheel, tired, hungry, and emotionally spent.
And I have no idea what to do next.
I drive home mindlessly thinking about both Reese and Dev. Why did one have to end up my past and one my future? Why couldn’t I have them both? I guess the answer doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is the child growing inside me and the fate of his or her parents.
I don’t want to do this alone.
This baby needs its father.
And so do I.
