Page 61 of Lies That Bind
“If I tell you a secret, you have to pinky promise you won’t tell anyone.” I held out my pinky, whispering so I didn’t wake the other girls. She hooked her pinky into mine, and I leaned closer.
“I died in the Wilds when I bonded Liana. But because of her power, I was reborn.”
Her eyes went wide. “Are you… immortal?” she asked, reverence in her voice.
I shrugged. “I could be. We don’t know. But I escaped death once, and I’d do it again just to spare you having to take on too much responsibility while you’re so young. I want to give you a normal childhood, Valor.”
She frowned. “This iswar, Aisling. I’m spared nothing. Without peace, I won’t ever have a normal childhood. No one will.”
There it was again. That word.Peace.
Her statement caught me off guard.
In all the years I’d trained for this position, I’d never been taught peace was an option. The war wouldn’t end until we conquered Luska and took over their people and lands. Only then would there be true peace.
For a split second I questioned that reasoning, and it felt like my mind fractured. I was warring with everything I’d beentaught, and it was such an uncomfortable feeling I just pushed it down, unable to deal with it right now.
“I promise not to die until you’re nineteen,” I joked, and that got a wry smile out of her. She sighed, looking down at her identical sisters. They looked so peaceful lying there asleep, tangled in each other’s arms.
“And I promise that if you do, I’ll be a good leader and take care of them,” she said.
Tears welled in my eyes at that. She was fourteen. A baby. She shouldn’t be thinking like this.
“Do you feel unsafe here?” I asked Valor.
She met my gaze. “I feel unsafe everywhere, Aisling.”
It was like a knife to the heart. I realized that my attempt to retain her innocent childhood was fruitless. It had already been broken.
“What would make you feel safer? Do you want to come live with me on base?”
She scrunched her nose up. “Isn’t that, like, bombed every day?”
Yes.Dammit.
‘Ask her if she wants a creature. If that would make her safe,’Liana prodded.
I swallowed hard, unsure how I felt about that. She could die in the Wilds, and then where would we be?
‘She’s stronger than you give her credit for,’Liana pushed back at me.
I sighed, hoping I wouldn’t regret this. “If you had a bonded creature, would that make you feel safe?”
She sat up fully, her mouth popping open in surprise. “What do you mean? Go into the Wilds early?”
I let out a shaky breath. “I mean, I’m still considering it, but yeah.”
She grinned. “Yes, Aisling, that would make me feel safer. With a creature, I could better protect the girls, and while we’re sleeping, they could protect us.”
She felt unsafe to sleep? I’d been so wrapped up in ruling the country I hadn’t really noticed.
“You know, it’s Gwen’s job to protect you girls.”
She shrugged, pulling up the hem of her pajama pants to show me a small dagger stuffed into her sock. “Gwen is great, but I just can’t trust anyone to keep us safe anymore.”
Wow. She’d grown so much since Father’s death. Overnight.
“I need to think about this,” I told her. She wouldn’t go through the Lottery, which would send a message to the people that I broke the rules. But she was an heir and guaranteed a spot anyway, so maybe it didn’t matter. But she wouldn’t have an alliance… and she wasn’t fully trained yet. I could just be sending her to her death.
