Page 27 of (Not) The One
‘What? Why?’
‘The little rat caught me creeping out to creep back in. I was supposed to be going home with you, so I had to sneak in to sleep in my own bed, then sneak out in order to make my official entrance. You know what they’re like. They would’ve had a million questions, and I’d have had to throw you under the bus and said we’d had an argument or something. And then they would’ve called you, and they would’ve been all “hey man, let’s all be groovy friends” thing.’ She affects an accent and makes the air quotes.
‘They’re not that bad,’ I say with a giggle.
‘You don’t have to live with them. They’re too young to be hippies, but it doesn’t stop them with that whole free love thing. It wouldn’t be too bad if they just confined their loving to their bedroom.’
‘Free? Oh my God, Heather. Your parents arenotswingers, are they?’
‘No. Ew, no! They screw like bunnies, though. And they don’t hide it. It’s no wonder they have seven kids.’
‘I think it’s lovely that they’re still in love.’
‘Yes, agreed. If only they’d just stop expressing it so freely in the communal parts of the home. Anyway, I’m still broke because of that useless little scrotal component. He’s blackmailing me.’
‘Is he? Still?’
‘It’s not funny. He’s a little wanker.’
‘That’s no way to speak about your little brother.’ Sometimes, I forget she’s only nineteen. ‘You could’ve told them the truth.’
‘I would rather take a vow of silence than discuss my sex life with either of them,’ she answers gravely. ‘And you know I do love to talk. Besides, they’d ask questions they wouldn’t like the answers to. So I snuck out to sneak back in. If only I could’ve remembered the address of the place where you’re staying.’
Her turning up that night would’ve been awkward—for all three of us.
‘I’m pleased Louisa had left home before I was sneaking around to hang out with boys.’ My older sister, Louisa, lives in the permanently sunny city of Sydney on the other side of the world. It’s funny, but Heather has three older brothers too. None of them lives at home, but I can’t imagine they’d have been happy to stay silent for the sake of a few pounds. Big brothers are supposed to be very protective, so I understand.
She snorts unhappily. ‘It doesn’t matter. You and Louisa get on far too well to extort money out of each other. Besides, you’re too sensible to go traipsing to the other side of London full of cocktails.’
If only she knew. Scratch that, I’m glad she doesn’t. I know she was all for it, making hot neighbour dude my rebound, but she’s too young to understand. Although she seems to have a handle on regret. Not that I regret that night. I regret how it ended, but that isn’t on me. It was good while it lasted, even if it has reawakened that need in me for human contact. Christ, how can it be I miss that skank Tamara more than I miss Cameron? The weirdest thing is, she’d understand how I feel. She’d probably throw her arm around me and say fuck him—fuck the dude for skipping out on me while I was asleep and fuck Cameron for being a lying prick.
But then again, she took care of the last one for me.
I realise Heather is still complaining about her little brother. ‘He’s such a little shit.’
‘To be fair, he’s only thirteen. Let’s hope he grows out of it.’
‘And some little dicks just grow to be bigger dicks. Bigger dicks who think about nothing but their dicks.’
‘Are we talking about that night?’ I ask carefully.
‘Nope. There’s nothing to talk about. I went. I changed my mind. I left. End of story. And if he wants to talk shit about me, he can.’
‘But you’re okay?’
‘Except I’m skint now until payday. Twenty pounds a week he’s charging me. Thanks for paying for lunch, by the way.’
‘That’s okay.’ I pull my purse onto my lap and pull my emergency twenty-pound note from the inside pocket. ‘You can give it back to me when you get paid.’
‘Thanks, Mir. You’re a lifesaver.’ She pockets the cash quickly, almost as though I might change my mind. ‘Can give me a lift home after work?’
‘Yeah, sure. I suppose I better have a little chat with Danny. Make him see the error of his ways. And threaten to tell on him.’
‘Ha. Good luck. ‘I’m going to get a bottle of water,’ she says, pushing her chair back. ‘Want anything?’ I shake my head, pulling the local newspaper abandoned on the table next to ours. I flip it open, going straight to the entertainment and lifestyle sections. It doesn’t harm to keep an eye on what’s happening in London, and it was reading the local rag that gave me the idea to contact the one or two publicists for theLust Islandcrew. It might’ve been nice if I could’ve gotten a couple of the girls to come along too, but they all seemed to have conflicts in their schedule.
Yeah, right.
‘You ready?’ I lift my gaze from the newspaper, my fingers already preparing to close it when something catches my attention.
