Page 9 of Hard
‘Really?’ Through the mirror, I begin applying a perfectly winged stroke of liner. It’s strange how some women have problems applying the stuff, and others have problems keeping men.
‘If you’re not sure, I can call Sonia from today’s shoot. Did you see how she inhaled Nathan’s penis like a total champ?’
‘Nathan?’ I repeat. Chas nods. ‘The improbably named Nathan Cox?’
‘Yes, why?’
‘Not that his name sounds anything like naked cocks or anything?’
‘I hadn’t thought about it like that. That’s rather clever.’
‘Yeah, well I’m not sucking any cock, Nathan’s or otherwise.’
‘If you’re not happy being Holly Goodhead, you can always be Pussy Galore. Although that always makes me think of a woman with an overly large vagina.’
‘This is one of those times I wish you and I had a safe word,’ I reply, holding my head in my hands. ‘Boundaries, Chastity.’
‘Boundaries are meant to be tested,’ she replies, beginning to slick the berry shade of lipstick across her lips. ‘Or how else would we discover the true breadth of things we enjoy?’
‘Here, do it properly.’ I pass her the lip primer and brush, the tools of my old trade.
‘Ever the purist,’ Chas responds with a smile. ‘Is this the long-lasting stuff?’
‘Yeah, it’s really good,’ I begin, animated. The topic of makeup gets me a little excited—makeup is totally my spirit animal. ‘It doesn’t come off for hours.’
‘Unlike my aim for your knickers tonight.’
My shoulders slump as I eye her through the mirror, a sudden thought adding to my torment. ‘But what happens if Robin does show up?’ I swear I’ve seen him a couple of times out on the street, not that I’d tell Chas. She already worries about me enough.
‘If he does, fuck him. Only don’t,’ she adds quickly. ‘Or I will junk punch you both. Of course, I’ll have to find his first,’ she adds with a sly wave of the pinkie finger on her right hand.
I smile because, evil reasons. And she’s not exactly wrong.
‘But I don’t want to make a scene,’ I answer softly. Weddings might be an easy place to score, but not with your ex in the same room. I just couldn’t. And more to the point, I don’t really want to. ‘I don’t get why you’re so keen to go yourself.’
She might have been born into the Chelsea set, but she so doesn’t ascribe to being seen in the right places or hanging out with the right crowd. Just the opposite—she’s the posh girl with the porn company!
‘I’m just a little excited, I suppose. It’s not every day you get invited to the wedding of someone famous; someone whose picture you had hanging on your bedroom wall.’
‘Yet Robin never impressed you.’
‘Ginger was never my thing.’ She scrunches up her nose. ‘Bust Out, however, was my favourite band, and Chad, their front man, was my high school secret crush.’
‘Pity he’s getting married then, huh? You won’t get to kiss him for realz now.’ Chastity slides me a sly look, but she wouldn’t... would she?
‘I do think it’s acceptable, indeed appropriate, to kiss the groom congratulations.’
‘Depends on the use of tongues,’ I answer, askance.
‘I’ll keep it to a minimum,’ she teases. ‘Not too much depth unless you don’t do as you’re told, of course.’
‘Yeah, sure. A wedding hookup. I can do that.’ There isn’t a drop of sincerity in my tone. ‘Because I’m so responsive to blackmail. I could totally sue you for harassment in the workplace.’
‘I think you probably could, given what happened in Prague last week.’
‘I couldn’t sue you for that. Not for taking me to such a beautiful historic city. It’s not your fault that Sasha sneezed so hard she expelled a dildo from her body, and it nearly knocked me out.’
‘Oh, God,’ she says, taking a deep, shaky breath. ‘Don’t make me laugh. I’ll pee myself. I want you to know I risked life and limb and went into your room to find you a matching pair of shoes.’
