Page 52 of Hard
But seriously, I’ll always be there for her in whatever capacity she needs.
And that leaves Keir. He’s my season. One I’d like to think I’ll look back on in fifty years when I’m sitting on my front porch and rocking in my chair. My children will have grown, my grandchildren with them. My husband will no doubt be dead because come on, after birthing and raising our brood of four, I’ll deserve to be the last woman standing. Maybe I’ll be a little like Blanche from theGolden Girls—a little man hungry. Or maybe I’ll be more like sweet like Rose. But whatever kind of senior citizen I turn out to be, I’ll always have my dirty memories.
‘You’ve pulled all the strawberries out again?’
‘Hmm?’ I turn from the window and the greying clouds that I wasn’t really seeing. ‘I did what?’ I hug my cereal bowl closer to my chest, dropping my feet to the ground as I stretch, then notice the little red lumps rolling from my thigh onto the floor. ‘Damn. Who puts strawberries in granola, anyway? Strawberries are bad enough, but dried?’ The spoonchinksagainst the china as I push the offensive crumbs into a pile with my foot.
‘You’re an odd thing,’ Chas says, sitting next to me. ‘If you don’t like fruit, buy granola with nuts or something.’
‘I was trying to be virtuous.’
‘That dreamy look on your face tells me you spent last night being anything but.’
My cheeks heat immediately. ‘Yesterday was Friday.’
‘Just call you Captain Obvious, yeah?’ Her mouth twists into a worried little pout. ‘Are you sure he doesn’t have a wife?’
An arched brow is my only response because, really? Just because my boyfriend cheated on me doesn’t mean I’m a complete idiot. I mean, not that I can know for certain, but—fuck it! Now I’m worrying even though I know—just know—that’s not who Keir is. As I glance from the clouds to Chas, she suddenly looks a little contrite.
‘Fridays are his day,’ I answer with a short shrug. ‘It keeps things on track. Transparent. It works for me.’ Even though I sometimes long to see him more. Sometimes to the point where I ache for him. Even though we text almost constantly. Check in each morning and last thing at night.
‘What happens if you meet someone else? Someone you want to date, not just fuck?’
‘Then I’ll date.’
‘And so you should. You’ve been seeing Keir for months with no sign of moving on.’
‘Six weeks. And I’m hardly throwing my life away.’
‘Good, because I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet. Someoneyou’dlike to meet.’
‘I think we already agreed no adult entertainers.’ Not that I have anything against those who work in the sex industry. But there is jealousy. I’m prone to it, so I don’t think I could have a meaningful relationship with someone who screws for a living. Nor with any man who goes gay for pay. ‘Chas, you really should be saving your efforts for your own love life. How can you nag me when you don’t have a boyfriend yourself?’
‘I don’t think I could look after a boyfriend,’ she replies. ‘I’m too busy creating a business. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready for the responsibility. I mean, how often do you need to walk a boyfriend? Feed him? That kind of stuff?’
‘Har-har.’
‘On the other hand, this guy I met—Troy? He’s perfect for you.’
‘Troy? His parents named him after a movie?’
‘Actually, the name Troy predates Brad Pit. Troy is more ancient. Think of the Iliad.’
‘I was teasing you.’ Mostly.Wasn’t there a much older film, too?‘Tell me, does he at least look like Brad Pitt?’
‘Better.’ Her answer is a little too excited. ‘Brad’s heading for his pension while Troy is only thirty, tall, dark, and pretty buff. Plus, he’s got this whole Clark Kent thing going on.’
My heart sinks. I thought she wasn’t truly serious—that maybe she’d been window shopping at best. But as she begins to animatedly recount a meeting at her bank, I realise how serious she is about this. She’s never met Keir—why would she? Our boundaries dictate that we don’t get involved in each other’s lives. But maybe if she had met him, she’d know why I’m still hanging onto Friday evenings. Because Keir is fun and decent and good. Plus, the filthiest individual I’ve ever met. Seriously. He should be the one running a porn company.
‘You’re not even listening, are you?’
‘No—I am.’ I duck my head to granola and yoghurt mess. ‘I totally am.’ When she doesn’t speak, I look up. ‘What?’
‘You might be fooling him. You might even be fooling yourself. But sweets, you’re not fooling me. This.. . this whole thing is unhealthy.’ She stands, her hands slapping her thighs as she shrugs in a motion of futility. ‘I worry about you. You’re going to get hurt, I just know it. And if he’s as decent as you say he is, you aren’t going to be the only one. So soon after Robin, too.’
‘This isn’t the same,’ I say, unable to hold her gaze. ‘Robin and I had a past spanning years. Keir and I... well, I suppose what we have at best is a temporary contract.’ Without a guarantee.
Chas’s brow creases, her eyes moving to the gloomy morning beyond the kitchen window.A morning that started so promising.
