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‘Toyed—you think I didn’t mean to kiss you today? You think I don’t want more? Kallie, come on. I’m trying to do the right thing here.’
‘I am the right thing,’ I say trying hard to keep a check on my temper. ‘I wanted you to fuck me.’
Okay, so that wasn’t very subtle.
Josh shakes his head. ‘You make it sound so simple. I want you. So bad. But Addy is my oldest and best friend. And I get where he’s coming from. If I had a sister as great as you I would want better for you. Better than me.’
‘You don’t get to make decisions for me, Josh. And neither does he. I keep telling you I’m a big girl. When are you going to take me at my word?’ But he doesn’t answer. ‘So, what? You’re just going to ignore your feelings for me—feeling I know you have. And that’ll be it? You’re not going to fight for what you want?’
Josh crosses his arms over his chest. He’s getting angry now, too.Good.
‘Well, all that’s happening now is that I’m fightingwithyou, so I don’t see the point.’
‘Why are you being such a pussy about this? Why am I the only one fighting?’
‘Because you’re stubborn. You always were, you just hid it better then. Believe me, I’ve thought about it, but it’s just not that simple.’
‘Whatever,’ I spit out. ‘I’ve heard enough.’
Beofre I turn to walk away, I aim one last retort. ‘I get it. You don’t want me badly enough. Well you know what? There are plenty of men who would just love to f—’
I don’t get top answer as he grabs my wrist, pulling my body into his. I can smell the scent of his shampoo and the musk of his skin. God help me, will I ever get over this man. My anger evaporates like steam as his mouth covers my own. It’s a kiss of need, each of us trying to gain the upper hand out there on his porch.
‘I want you, Kallie,’ he whispers against my mouth. ‘I always have. But maybe the time isn’t right.’
As I palm his dick, he stops whispering the things I don’t want to hear. As he flexes into my hand he groans, and I suddenly hear it all. The frustration belying the desire.
This isn’t what I want. I deserve more than lust and confliction.
‘Will there ever be a right time?’
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. I take one last look at him as he searches for an answer that doesn’t come.
‘Yeah, I thought so,’ I reply. ‘You know what, Josh? You can just do one’ I flip him the bird over my shoulder as I walk away.
Chapter 6
Josh
Kallie is long gone and I’m lying in bed, arsehole that I am. I let her walk away from me. She came to my house to tell me how she felt, and I couldn’t give her the same courtesy
Gran always said the right thing is often the hardest, but I don’t think she was talking about my dick.
Talk about instant boner killer.
But on a more serious plain, hard and right might go hand in hand, but also cuts like a knife. I’m trying to do what’s right, to be a loyal friend to Ads—to do the right thing by Kallie. A girl like her deserves the white picket fence and the whole fucking deal. But none of this stops me from wanting her, even if it’s futile. The fact is, I think I’ve wanted her for the longest time.
Fuck this shit.
The thoughts fill my head as I swing my legs out of bed. She shouldn’t be the one to run after me, I should run afterher. And since when have I stopped chasing my dreams? The thing I want? But as my gaze flicks to the clock, I see it’s already two in the morning. I can’t go now, but I will. As soon as tomorrow comes.
And tomorrow takes forever and a day to arrive, bringing rain that falls in sheets. I shower, dress, and make sure Rach anda-baby-not-named-Ralphdon’t need anything before I leave.
‘I’m popping out for a bit. Will you be okay without me?’
‘Please, who needs you?’ she says, her words sputtering over her cup of tea.
‘Erm... ’
