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I slide in next to her in the middle row of three, taking a seat. Someone else’s seat, obviously, but that won’t be an issue. As I settle in, Sadie doesn’t look up once, her eyes glued to the laminated manual that won’t do anyone any good if we’re going to crash.Best to not mention that.To get her attention, I spread my elbows across my chest knocking hers from the arm rest.
‘Do you mind—
‘Reading anything interesting,’ I drawl.
‘Will?’ She fills my name with incredulity, her whole body turning to face me. ‘What—why?’ Her mouth makes all manner of shapes, though not a lot of sound comes out.
‘What a coincidence,’ I state lightly. ‘Are you going this way, too?’
‘This is not a bus, Will’ she replies with sudden asperity. ‘We’re all going to the same place—and you have no business to be... tobe ...’ She gestures to the other seats and passengers, her mouth still a softOshape.
‘Here?’ I slip my finger under her chin, tipping her mouth closed. ‘That’s better,’ I whisper, lowering my mouth to her ear. ‘That mouth is an invitation impossible to refuse.’ A man in an adjacent row begins to chuckle, smothering it quickly under Sadie’s glare. ‘And as for no business, that’s where you’re wrong.’
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ she demands.
‘I’m relocating. Moving to the land of opportunity and stuff.’
‘I think you have enough opportunity where you currently live.’ I don’t think I imagine the bite in her tone.
‘Yeah, but, there’s this girl. She’s all the opportunity I need.’
‘Will,’ Sadie says sternly. ‘Just get off the plane. Leave.’
‘It doesn’t work like that,’ I reply, settling further into my cramped and uncomfortable seat. I reach for the little bag in the pocket in front, pulling out the travel toothpaste and brush before shoving them back in and pulling out the sleeping mask. ‘Like you said, this isn’t a bus.’ I snap the elastic around the back of my head.
‘Will!’ This time my name sounds like it should be delivered with a stamp of feet.
‘Excuse me, I think you’re in my seat.’
I peel the waxy mask from my right eye, then slide it onto my forehead.
‘Would you care to swap?’ I use my most persuasive voice on the jobs worth type standing at the mouth of our aisle.Who travels in a shirt and tie?
Says the man in full morning dress, I suppose.
‘I-I don’t think that’s allowed,’ he stammers.
‘No, I don’t think it is, either,’ adds Sadie quickly, elbowing me in the ribs. ‘You should get out of the nice man’s seat.’
‘Oh, so you don’t want to swap for a seat in first class?’
The man snaps my seat card out of my hand at the same moment as the steward arrives.
‘Is everything all right here, folks?’
‘Very,’ says the man scurrying away.
‘No, this strange man is harassing me,’ Sadie says. But she should’ve gone with tears, not shouting.
‘You catch more flies with honey, love,’ I say, leading in. ‘Look,’ I say a little louder. For the benefit of the peanut gallery. My name is Lord Travers, and this lovely lady next to me is Sadie. Now, you see my morning dress?’ I make a flourish of my hand indicating my penguin suit.
The steward nods, several members of the cabin crew gathering around him as they find the aisle bottle necked. Some passengers stand, some lean over seats to better see.
‘This morning I was due to get married. Only, this little minx has decided to steal my heart and then steal away during the dead of night.’ Cue the sharp intakes of breath from those around us. ‘A cathedral full of guests were devastated this morning to find out that Sadie had planned to bugger off home.’
Score one for Will.
‘Will!’
