Page 4 of Easy
‘Oh, God,’ I groan loudly, deciding against the idea. Hard liquor and I aren’t the best of companions. It tends to make me a little reckless.
Why, hello, London...
‘I’m so nervous. How could I possibly have thought I could walk into this party by myself?’
‘About that,’ Kallie says suddenly. ‘I have a sort of backup plan.’
My eyes snap back to the phone. ‘Backup . . . what?’
‘Plan,’ she repeats as though I have a hearing problem.
‘No, I mean, back up and explain. You’re rubbing your ear.’ Anxiety flickers in my chest. ‘You always rub your ear when you’ve done something shady.’
‘Shady?’ she repeats as though finding the word so disgusting, she’d hold it at arm’s length. ‘When was the last time I did something shady? And to you?’
My reply is short. Two words, in fact.No explanation necessary. ‘Blind date. The one you set me up on.’Okay, so it’s more than two.
‘How is it my fault you took home a man with questionable interests?’
‘I didn’t take him home. He invited himself in for coffee.’
‘You’re too nice for your own good.’
‘Not so nice that I’d extend the invitation to access of my closet or to masturbate on my shoes!’
‘It’s a very sexy shoe collection,’ she says, chuckling. ‘How could I have ever guessed his secret fetishes? He works in IT, for goodness’ sake! How boring is that? Look at it this way, tonight’s blind date can only be an improvement on the experience.’
‘But it’s not a blind date,’ I scoff. ‘Remember the whole meet-cute airport story that’s had you drooling for weeks?’ There’s that flicker of anxiety again.
‘Oh, no.’ I bring my fingers to my gloss slicked lips. ‘What have you done now?’
‘Remember that study I told you about? The one with the titi monkeys?’
‘Yes,’ I answer cautiously. ‘The one about jealousy.’
‘It wasn’t jealousy, per se. More a study into the cingulate cortex, which, in humans, is the area of the brain associated with social pain.’
‘Get to the point,please!’
‘I didn’t want you to feel any of that. So as well as engaging someone to walk in with you tonight, I thought a little potential primate jealousy might work in your favour. A little testosterone-fuelled action—a guns blazing at midnight, sort of thing. Only the other sort of guns. Not the weaponry kind.’
‘I don’t follow.’ Because she really can’t mean—
‘I’ve arranged for someone to take you to the party.’
‘A date,’ I answer flatly. ‘You’ve arranged for me to take a date?’ I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. For a super bright woman, sometimes Kallie can be so ridiculous.
‘I wouldn’t say a date, exactly.’ Her lips sort of twist, and though it’s hard to make sense of her expression, it’s easy to tell she’s been up to no good as she begins to rub her ear again.
‘So I’m going to a party to see if I can reconnect to Julian. Tell me how the wholetaking a datething works? You know, me turning up with another man.’
‘Men like a little competition,’ she answers mulishly. ‘It’s a primal thing. It might help.’
‘Or it might not!’ My delivery of the words is quick, my tone incredulous. ‘What if he thinks I’m with the date?With-with, Kallie?’
‘I’m sure you could enlighten him. Use your feminine wiles.’
‘And what about my date, huh? Don’t you think it’s a little cruel to take a man to a party only to ditch him?’ I do a double take as Sir Lancelot, a behemoth of a dog, lifts his bulk from his antique daybed, the kind that looks as though it was once housed in an Edwardian opium den. The dog and the apartment came as a package deal. In other words, I’m dog sitting in exchange for accommodation. As a lowly teacher, my alternative would’ve been much more basic.Like hostel basic. London summer prices are astronomical.
